"Madagascar!" "Yugoslavia!" Only Oprah can make you feel empowered on one show, then completely inadequate on another. I'm referring to an episode showcasing a two-year- old who knows more geography than most of the population.
In the past decade, many new products, books, and classes have come out on the topic of brain development and ways to get our children ahead of the game. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I was already behind in what I can do for my child. I gave up on my favorite foods and took my prenatal vitamins religiously. My first step in parenting was, embarrassingly, the purchase of this fanny pack sound machine thing that was supposed to help the baby to self sooth. I don't even think I knew what self-sooth meant, but I just needed to do something other than watch my stomach get bigger.
When Oliver was 9 weeks old, I was still struggling with the idea of putting my career on hold. I was feeling isolated but scared to go out with my baby. And honestly, more scared to step into my new life as a mom and doing "mom stuff". I couldn't picture myself doing things like pushing the stroller through the mall on a weekday morning, or having play dates or baby classes. Somehow that felt more intimidating to me than going to work at a new job in an office.
For the future of my child, I finally ventured out (4 miles to be exact) in pursuit of higher education for him. I had learned about the Outside the Box classes from my doula Octavia who started the company. The classes focus on sensory stimulation which helps with brain development. I arrived to class in a room with 10 other moms and their babies, some moms nursing, some changing diapers. This was unfamiliar territory, but everyone was very nice and wanted to know more about Oliver. I followed along during circle time the best I could, and watched Oliver intently to see how he was handling this new environment. Then the instructor, aka the facilitator, took out a great big drum for the babies to sit on while she played it. The vibration and sound was definitely a new experience for us. And to my surprise, all the babies loved it. Then she gave all of us large colorful feathers to wave over our babies. I think Oliver and I both had a moment where we thought "Hey! This is different, and I like it!" I saw that spark in his eyes that every mother hopes to see again and again. So for the next 6 months, we went to class every week.
The one thing that stuck out to me most in the class was how the babies responded to new stimulations over time. Those who have been going to class regularly gradually had higher tolerance for new stimulations. They all seem to be more happy and curious when something different is revealed to them. The new babies attending the class, in comparison, would either falls asleep, or cry, or needs to be nursed when the same stimulation is presented to them. And it was consistent even if the child coming in was older.
So as Oliver becomes more comfortable with new sensory experiences, I also became more at ease with being a mom. I did take him to the mall in the middle of the day, and nursed him wearing my blue polka-dotted nursing cover. Oliver has been in many music and gym classes, and countless play dates. I've definitely gotten over the fear and trouble of leaving the house, and the need to hold on to my career. So I guess we both have gone "outside the box".
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