The last few days has been a little harder. I think I am not getting enough sleep because we're trying out a new routine with Oliver. I get that extra sensitive hearing at night when he's sleeping, that I jump at every little sound. On days when I'm tired, the days seem extra long. Also, Oliver is getting heavier, about 14 lbs. now, so I'm having trouble carrying him also.
On days when I can't get him to take a nap because he's just so excited to discover the world around him, I wish he was older so I don't have to carry him all the time. On nights when I wake up 2, 3 times to feed him, I wish he was older so he can sleep longer through the night. The thing is, this is the only time he's so depended on me 24/7. I love the way he gently falls asleep in my arms. I love that I can provide him the comfort and nutrients by breast feeding. I even love the saddest little face he makes when he cries. So in my mind, I'm looking for that happy medium where I can handle taking care of him without wearing myself out mentally and physically.
And then, it's like he knows. Today he fell asleep on his own after I set him down! No rocking or shooshing! At the same time, I miss holding him close while he drifts off into dreamland. Oh wait...did I just hear him cry?
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