Fall 2015

It's getting cooler again. We had a great summer with my mom and sister visiting, but it was also nice to have more space in our apartment and get back on a schedule. Oliver started 2nd grade and is really enjoying school. He's in Mr. Levy and Ms. Dewan's class with a few kids he knew from first grade. He is still taking drum lessons and is obsessed with Minecraft. He is still very helpful around the house and with taking care of little Harrison. Sometimes I bring Harrison with me to pick up Oliver from school. The 2 of them will run around the playground…mostly Harrison will follow Oliver everywhere and do everything his big brother does. 

Harrison is 28 months old and attends a mommy and me class at Just Wee Twol for 2 days a week, 90 minutes each time. He is still the most cheerful kid in the class who says “yah!” after just about anything. Recently he climbed out of his crib onto Oliver’s bunk bed and will also jump off the top bunk (about 40 inches high) He is a fearless kid and continues to put himself in danger with a smile on his face. This week he finally started showing some interest in talking. It’s been interesting seeing how differently the 2 boys develop. Oliver was having conversation by the age Harrison is at now, but he was definitely not as physically coordinated as Harrison. 

I have been going to the gym twice a week for the last few months. I see my mom, my in laws, my landlords all having aches and pains and other health issues. I hope in 20 years I’ll be in a better place if I make the effort to take better care of myself. Both of my boys love to run and we live next to the best running path with Manhattan view in the background. Maybe next spring I can start going jogging with the boys. 

I’ve also been thinking about what to do when Harrison starts going to school without me. I know I can do some freelance design work, but I was also thinking of starting a new mom support play group. Basically combining my experience from the MOMS Club, teaching chinese classes to little kids, my book that I never bothered to sell, and using my status as a certified parenting instructor all rolled into one. I think by mid January I’ll be able to take Harrison to a class where I drop him off. The class is just 2 blocks away. I think I can teach a 45 min class while he is in a 90 minute class. I can do a 6-week session and have it at our apartment for a group of 5 or 6 moms, twice a week. It’s been so long since I worked but I know I can do this. I’ll get a chance to make some money, socialize, and use what I’ve learned to help other moms. I just ordered some of my books that I can sell them in class. : ) 

Chris is doing well. He’s been working a lot and directing a lot for Brand New School. It’s such a good change for us. The projects are so much better with better budgets and exposure. He’s very well taken care of because people respect his talent and skills. I’m very proud of where he is now in his career. Here are some of his work.

http://brandnewschool.com/directors/chris-dooley

Looking ahead, we'll be going to a cruise with grandma to the Florida and the Bahamas during Christmas time. It will be our first cruise. I'm looking forward to trying out new things and getting a break from having to cook or clean. We have on the agenda to go ride on an airboat and see alligators. I think the boys really benefit from having new experiences, especially in nature. Life experience is the best gift we can give them. Merry Cruise-mas!

Mid Year Update 2015

It's hard to believe I'm now a 40-year-old stay at home mom with a soon to be 7-year old who is about as tall as I am, and 2-year old who's ready to conquer the world. I spend most of my days with the same routine to keep the kids and husband alive and happy, the house in order, and myself fed and somewhat rested. Now that the weather is warm, I am making a little extra effort to put on a cute, brighter color outfit and some lipstick before heading out the door. The goal is to break up the routine and start having more life experiences so the first year of me being 40 doesn't go by quietly.

It wasn't quiet indeed. I spent the first few seconds shortly after midnight vomiting into a trash can at a movie theater. Let me back up a little bit. The weekend before my birthday was spent in upstate New York for a wedding in Lake George. The drive to the resort was traffic free and smooth except for the moment when both of my boys threw up in the backseat. I was glad that they felt better and got some color back on their faces.

The resort itself was nice, and the lake and surroundings was beautiful. The rooms were fine except the decor was a bit dark for my taste. Harrison agrees and showed it by throwing himself on the ground every time we entered the room. We got a sitter for the night of the wedding, who was very sweet but sadly obese and that worried me a little about her taking care of two high energy kids who likes to run in different directions. I had to trust that Oliver will step up and run after Harrison if necessary. Then just before the wedding we discovered that I've packed the wrong suit for Chris and it looked terrible. I felt terrible. We went to a beautiful wedding were I only knew my husband and the groom and actor Andrew Shue who is a friend of the bride's family. My allergies was killing me, my shoes were killing me, and as I found out at the end of the night the food served at the wedding was killing me. I threw up 8 times that night. I was glad to be going home the next day and luckily the ride back was vomit free.

Fast forward a week later and I had plans to have a good birthday/mother's day celebration. First Chris and I met with my old boss at Disney for a drink before dinner. Then we had a nice meal at Lincoln Ristoranté. I made the mistake of drinking too early and eating too much. By the time we made it to our 11pm showing of the Avengers 3D, I was already not feeling great. 20 minutes into the action packed movie in an IMAX theater with seats too close to the giant screen, we had to leave. As I fumbled my way out the theater looking, passing the 3D glasses return bin, looking for a non-recycling trashcan to throw up into. I was happy to get home and just go to sleep.

That was the end of the "cleansing", out with the old and ready for a new decade. The latest project was throwing a Spy 007 birthday party for Oliver, complete with secret agent badges and finger print scanner and password for entering, TNT detonator that says "Do Nut Push" which covers stacks of donuts as birthday cake, laser obstacle course, a balloon popping game called the Bomb Squat, dress up photoshoot for the best master of disguise. It was really fun and I had a blast making all the props and games.

The next big thing is Harrison's surgery tomorrow. I know he'll be just fine. I just hope I will be too.

This summer Oliver will be in summer camp for 2 weeks, continue with drum lessons, and probably go back to taking swim lessons as well. My mom and sister will be visiting and we plan on going to Boston for a few days for whale watching and visit the aquarium and science museum. I'm also looking forward to the boy's reaction when we take the Duck Tour where the bus goes from land then turned into a boat and goes along the river.

Before wrapping this up I just want to include something that I wrote about our boys for something too complicated to explain:

Oliver

Oliver is kind, caring, sensitive. His gentle, easy going personality allows him to make friends easily and is loved by his friends ranging in age from 2, to our 72-year old neighbor Len. He’s very loving, patient and thoughtful. He can get very emotional and cry when he hears or sees something sad. I describe his as a raw nerve or the way your gums feel after having a tooth pulled. At the same time, he has a great sense of humor has an absolutely contagious laugh. Recently, he’s discovered what all of us adults already know….that fart jokes and butts are hilarious.

Oliver is very bright and a quick learner. This year he’s learning to play drums and has really taken to it. Not quite at Stephen level, yet but call us in a few years and he’d be happy to step in. He’s extremely creative with his Lego building, as each piece is carefully chosen with a purpose. He has the mind of an engineer, a wonderful imagination and the gift of storytelling.

As a big brother, he is very considerate of his baby brother’s needs. His face lights up when he sees Harrison. Recently we found out that Harrison will need to have surgery. Oliver’s response was that he felt sad that Harrison will feel pain, and that he wishes he can feel the pain for his brother.
As a son, he’s a helpful and contributing member of the family. He loves his family and enjoys spending time with us. Every night before bed we cuddle and share with each other our favorite things of the day.

Harrison

This is the happiest child I’ve ever met. There’s not a person, dog, or truck that passes by that he doesn’t wave to. There’s not a song or book or game that ends without him dancing or throwing his arms up and cheer. When he enters the room, everyone smiles. When he is playing, he becomes very quiet and focused in his world. He likes to lay on the floor and push his toy train and trucks and watch the wheels turn. Once in a while he’ll just laugh, which makes me wonder if there’s a story going on inside his head. When Harrison was a baby, we noticed some veins on his cheek that seemed to spell the word “LOVE” (see attached photo) which came as a surprise until we got to know him a bit better. Now it makes total sense.

He naturally likes to share his food and toys with others. When he sees you upset, he’ll come over and give you a hug. When he does something that makes you laugh, he’ll keep doing it and enjoy the moment with you.

While not quite 2 years old, he seem more confident and sure of himself than most people. He walks around without fear. In his baby class, he feels comfortable sitting in the middle of the circle instead of in his mom’s lap. When he sees a big dog, he will go right up to it and let the dog lick his face. When he is with Oliver, he doesn’t hesitate to try what Oliver is doing.
Their personalities are almost polar opposites, yet they can’t be any closer as brothers. In the 2 years they’ve known each other they have never had a fight. There’s a mutual love and concern for one another. They are very lucky to have each other and we are blessed to have them both.

Spring 2015

This was written as an update to our friends and family that I forgot to post here. It's April 2015 and 46 degree in New York. I really would like to go out one day without a jacket and a hat. It’s been about 8 months of cold weather. Enough already!

Other than the weather, we are all doing well. I was busy for a couple weeks when out of the blue an old colleague called me. She didn’t even know I moved away. She started a new boudoir photography business and needed a logo and website. I took it on, but I realize my nights are my only free time so I really rather just watch some tv and go to sleep than being in front of the computer. Also, the revisions just kills me. I rather work on little projects that goes away after a few days and never have to think about it again. It was, however, nice to do something creative again and know that I can still do it.

I also kind of forced my way into re-organizing my mother in law’s apartment. She really doesn’t have the physical and mental strength to unpack the boxes that’s been stacked in her 500 sq. ft apartment for 7 months. It was driving me crazy. So finally on a day when she had to go out, I orchestrated having people watch Harrison while I went back and forth between her apartment and ours, running back to bring Harrison to another friend to watch him, running home to put him down for a nap. I was like a mad woman moving at top speed to give her place a make over. It was like one of those HGTV reality shows, except I did it all on my own.

The good news she was very happy with the result. I’m really hoping that with the new environment it will help her feel more open to having people over an make some friends. I’ve read enough self help books to know what’s crippling her ability to live with more joy. Sometimes I get so frustrated that we’ve handed her the perfect life for a grandparent, paying off her debt, bought this amazing place in a great neighborhood down the street from her only family, yet she is trapped in own head and an unhealthy lifestyle. Now that I can actually bring the boys over there to play, maybe it will start a change and she can find some motivation to enjoy life.

On a more uplifting note. Chris has gone back to work on staff at Brand New School, NYC. The company has grown so much since he worked there over 10 years ago. He’s really enjoying working there and has a great support team. He’s won a few jobs already since he started in January and is currently shooting an international campaign for Gillett in Cape Town, South Africa!! When he had a little downtime, he and the crew went to check out African Penguins at the beach, and cage diving with sharks!!

Harrison is 20 months old now. He’s one cute fellow and very social and independent. He’s a lot of fun to be around and has the greatest giggle. He’s still not saying much still yet he understands Chinese and English equally. So whenever he’s ready...

And Oliver, the best big brother. The most wonderful son. He’s so sweet and helpful. He’s doing very well in school and recently started taking drum lessons. For spring break I signed him up for a music camp (that part of the day they go to an indoor rock wall climbing place across the street!) Him and his band of 6-9 year olds played a song together, Break Free by Ariana Grande. It was very cute but made me cringe a bit too. At the end of the show Oliver just started playing this beat on his own, and the teacher joined in on the piano. So cool to see this side of him not shy to perform in front of people. I feel so proud.

The Past 2 Years

Ok. So 2 years have gone by and I haven't written a thing. I can't remember much, but I know why I haven't written an update. I had a baby! The sweetest cutest boy who is now 1.5 years old and loves to say "yeh!!" The two beautiful boys are keeping me busy and I love being their mom.

Harrison is so different from Oliver. From the start his sleeping habits was just the opposite. We had a tough time getting him to sleep. I ended up using a sleep consulting service which helped so much. Harrison eats everything. He loves fish and shrimp. He's very active and outgoing. He loves to greet people and cheer after every song. He isn't really talking yet but understands everything in English and Chinese. He points and signs and nods or shakes his head. It seems he communicates so well there's no need to speak. He goes to a gym class and a mommy and me class. He really enjoys being in the classes and participates in everything with so much enthusiasm. He has the greatest smile and laughs. He is so lucky to have such a caring and loving big brother who has to put up with a lot changes since he came along. I'm so happy they have each other.

A couple highlights. We sold our house in LA and bought a studio co-op down the street for my mother in law to live. With her being so close, I'm able to go pick up Oliver while she comes over to stay with Harrison. That was a big project getting approved by the co-op and probably some of the most stressful days of my life, but it was all worth it.

The biggest change happened not to myself but to my mom. She reunited with an old friend who turned out had been secretly in love with her for the last 34 years. Dad passed away 4 years ago and it's been lonely for my mom being by herself in California. Since then she's moved back to Taiwan and has been enjoying time with her companion. I'm really happy for her for having this chance to enjoy life and be taken care of. I don't think any of us ever thought this would happen, but everything happens for a reason and when there's an opportunity to be happy, you just have to take a chance.

So basically other than taking care of the baby, I was moving one mom closer and one mom to the other side of the world. What's weird is that I don't really have a big project like that lined up anymore. I have also learned that I need to take better care of myself and not only focus on getting things done.

A few other things that happened recently are my childhood best friend separated from her husband of 12 years. Another friend, same thing happened after 17 years. News like that really shook me and made me want to focus more on my marriage. We all get caught up in the day to day stress with work and taking care of the children. It is easy to neglect our most important relationship when we get used to the routine. I took those news as a sign that I should work hard to maintaining good communication and relationships, not just in my marriage but in friendships as well. I like that the universe sends signs like that.

Another big news, my old boss at Disney was let go after 17 years. It was so shocking and painful to know that he was so devoted to the company. He is one of the most creative artist I've ever met. I have so much respect for him. He built my career and has been a mentor for me since I interned for him. Knowing that he was no longer at Disney felt like I lost my only "home" in LA after my mom moved away. The good news is his daughter lives in New York, so there's a good chance I'll actually see him more. Who knows maybe someday I'll work for him again.

I think the most important change in the last 2 years has been my awareness of my feelings, positive and negative. I've always been big on self help books and finding ways to strengthen my inner self. I feel more confident in my ability and strength to be responsible for my actions, to correct mistakes, to learn from them, to become clearer about who I am and who I want to be, or what I want to be. I've made some good friends since moving to New York, and those I kept in touch with in LA are close to my heart too. Maybe it's because I lost a dear friend since I moved here and the reason according to her was that I didn't value her time as much as I valued my own. That, was another wake up call. Although I have my own opinion on what was really the reason we broke up, either way it's a reminder for me to be there for my friends. Maybe it's because I turn 40 this year. I think I have to take everything I have learned this far and apply them. I want to be a good example for my children. I want to build a lasting marriage with my husband and for my children to have that support. I want to feel at peace with my decisions in life and find joy everyday.

Hopefully I'll have another update in less than 2 years. Until then, a reminder to myself of my favorite quote. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

Catching up

I'm 3 days away from meeting our new baby boy. I am feeling great most of the time except at night trying to sleep and dealing with the heat and humidity. This pregnancy started out rough but really has been great after the first trimester. I think all the walking in NY has helped keep my body in better condition. I didn't put on as much weight, and is much more mobile than when I has pregnant with Oliver. Even being so close to the delivery I'm still very active and keeping a pretty regular schedule.

The last few months as part of my planning and nesting I've been busy taking care of our finances and any updates to our apartment. I had a long list, but was very disciplined in getting things done. I'm glad that I was able to take care of all the major projects including selling of our house in LA and getting a financial advisor to help us with the money.

Each week since Oliver's been out of school I have been planning weekly outings and emailing his friends so he can meet up with his friends. I've become good friends with Marisa whose 2 boys John and Jude play very well with Oliver. Marisa used to work for Martha Steward Wedding so we have a lot to talk about other than our kids. A few months back another friend Stephanie, Sacha, Elaine, and Marisa took me out to brunch as a baby shower. I felt so loved and special knowing that in Brooklyn I have many new friends who care so much about me. And they are all really wonderful genuine people. One thing I said during brunch was that I never imagined my life like this 2 years ago. When Chris and I talked about moving to NY, I felt comfortable with the idea because of one of my closest friend Heejo was living here. Hard to believe that we had a falling out and she's no longer in my life. However the new direction my life has taken is a path I feel confident and strongly about.

I feel for the first time I have more control over my own life and know where to set my boundaries. I know I'll be very busy taking care of the baby, Oliver, and our home. And I'm looking forward to starting my career as a parenting instructor when the time comes. It's taken me 38 years to get here, and I'm grateful for every good and bad experience that guided me to where I am today.

Spring 2013

After all the craziness of the beginning of the year, things took a turn after our re-do new year's party. And I must say that it's been all very good transitions.

The big news is that Chris and I are expecting our second child. It was a big decision that I had a lot of trouble making. Things were just starting to get easier with Oliver and I was at a place where I need to figure out if I get a job or figure out a way to have some "Ann" life. I spent many months with this heavy decision on my shoulder, talking to my mom friends about their experience and their decision whether to have 1 or 2 or 3 children. In the end, there was a part of me that knew that I would definitely feel regret someday for Not having another. Especially seeing how well Oliver is turning out and my dedication to raising a good human being, I was finally able to commit to the decision to start trying. Luckily it didn't take long. And as of today I'm 27 weeks along with another boy. The first trimester was really tough. I was tired and nauseous all the time, but since then it's been wonderful.

Another big news came from Chris's company. We moved to New York so he can head up the office here. Because of some accounting issues and business slowing down the last few years, they came to the conclusion that they need to close their business. It was something we sort of saw coming and I think it was just the right time to move on. Although it wasn't what we had planned by moving here, but we felt more positive about this big change than fear of what we'll do to make a living. In the past year I really learned to be in the present and just go with the flow. I believe in Chris's talent and that whatever comes next will be just as good or better. We carried that attitude all the way through the process of selling all the equipments and moving out of the office, to figuring out what options we have. At this point we know our family is growing and it was important to cut back and take control over our finances. I was also looking into what I can do to help out and the universe provided some answers for us.

After trying out being a children's photographer, running errands for the neighbor, arts and crafts teacher, mandarin teacher, and looking to starting a recycling crafts business and starting my own professional organizer business...I found a place that has a stud-at-home certificate program to become a parenting instructor. I had thought about that many times before but never found anything that worked for my schedule. When I came across the Breakthrough Parenting program, it was on a not very attractive website. I had the idea of trading graphic design services for getting the program. And to my surprise they agreed to it. Then came months of me studying and working on the workbook and verbal test. I took some time off during my first trimester feeling too sick to study, but shortly after that in March 2013, I received my certificate and was thrilled to have completed something I set out to do, and something I truly feel passionate about.

I was eager to start a class, but because of schedule conflicts and parents not being available when I am able to teach. I was not able to start teaching. There was a part of me that felt insecure too, and decided that there's a reason why it's not working out now. So I continue to study the material, going to Starbucks once a week to read and take notes. Meanwhile practicing what I have learned with Oliver who is now 4.5 and more defiant than ever. Also I would have "sessions" with Oliver's school friend Joseph's mom and coach her for practice. I feel that was the right move since I now feel more confident about teaching. And when the time comes after I take some time off with the baby, I plan to start teaching on a more regular basis.

During Oliver's spring break, we took a trip to LA (March 16-26, 2013) This was a chance for us to see our good friends and family before the baby comes. It also gives Len and Elaine the time to start remodeling our bathroom! I had seen the work they did in the other apartments and sort of sweet talked my way into having ours done before the baby comes. It was nice to know that they like us enough to spare no expense and gave us the best most luxurious bathroom in the whole building. Every time we shower it's like being at the spa. It really makes our home life here even better.

Our visit to LA was just perfect. We're down to a handful of friends who we truly enjoy their company. I even was able to squeeze in a facial. We had lovely dinners and fun outings with the family. And we even went on a short vacation at a camp site called El Capitan near Santa Barbara. We stayed at a cabin with a king size bed, mini kitchen and bathroom. We had our own picnic table and fire pit. We look out the window and see trees and mountains. It was such a different scene but exactly what we needed at the end of a social week. We built a fire and had a bbq. walked to the beach and had fun enjoying the fresh air.

When we returned to Brooklyn, the bathroom was still not in good shape for us to be back in our apartment. So Len and Elaine had us stay with them for a few nights. It was wonderful to be taken care of like we are at a bed and breakfast. Oliver got to spend a lot of time playing with them and it was actually a good way to ease back into our routine. After a few days we were able to return home and finally sleep in our own beds. There were a few hiccups along the way with the remodel, but it's all coming together nicely.

A few weeks before going to LA we had decided it was best for us to sell our house. Now that we are expecting another child we no longer can fit in that house. Also it was just another expense that wasn't really helping us out financially. So with the changes in Chris's job, our families's needs, and us wanting to stay in NY, we moved forward with the sale. We introduced the broker to our tenants and everything took off quickly from there. A week later we had a photoshoot and website for the house. Then they had an open house which we got 19 offers mostly above asking price. With one round of counter offers, we ended up choosing a great buyer and had a 14 day escrow. Everything wrapped up in about a month and we are very happy to have sold it at a good time. It was a great house and we got to really enjoy it while we were there. Now we are happy renting without the stress of taking care of a property, especially to be in a beautiful neighborhood with lovely landlords who loves us and treats us so well.

It really feels like we took control over our life and simplified everything to the bare essential. Less stress worrying about material things and more time to focus on the family and our healthy and our future. I often feel so lucky how stress free my life is now, and looking forward to just enjoying our little family and whatever adventures to come.

2013 Craziness

The end of 2012 to the start of 2013 has to be the craziest days of our lives. It all started when our Honeybaked ham delivery went missing. Someone from UPS probably ate it. Then, Dad and Joan came to visit us for a week. It was fun spending time with them, especially for Oliver, but it was also very tiring to be out all the time in the cold weather. To add to the holiday stress, we went to Macy's to see Santa and waited 3 hours. Oliver was so patient the whole time. Dad almost passed out while waiting in line. And Oliver ended up saying after we got home "That's the last time we'll be doing that." Then Joan had some allergic reaction to something and they ended up spending almost a whole day at the ER on Christmas eve! 

Christmas day luckily had no major drama. We had a nice brunch at our place, with our substitute ham with a homemade glaze. Chris's mom came from New Jersey for the day and we all enjoyed a nice meal and opened "a zillion" presents. Oliver has been a very good boy all year and his presents proved it. However, the next day we woke up to the news that our good friend/landlord who is 71, fell and broke his hip. I also received an email from our tenants at Crescent Heights with a long list of repairs. Not the way I'd like to start the day.

Just when we thought we're out of the woods of bad news, we were woken up on New Year's morning at 7am by the pounding on our front door from our landlady Elaine. She had an intruder in her home standing in her bedroom!  This is while her husband is still at the hospital recovering from hip surgery. We spent New Year's day talking to the the police and trying to figure out what happened. Luckily no one was hurt and nothing was taken. We all took it as a wake up call (literally) to be more cautious and up the security of the building. 

And then...2 days later Elaine broke her toe. 

Even though these things didn't really happen to us. We've had to jump in and help take care of things. Len and Elaine are like family to us and they were so grateful we were here to help them out through a tough time. We ended up having a New-er Year dinner after Len was out of the hospital to start the year over. We each held a ball and dropped it after a count down. Oliver loved it, and I feel like that will become a new tradition for us.

The drama continues with some major changes with Chris's work that became a big stress for us. Although we've been very optimistic about changes and welcome the transition. 

Just to add a cherry on top of all the madness, my dear friend for 16 years has decided that she no longer wants to be friends with me. It makes me very sad that we've been through so much together and have grown very close, but maybe our lives are going in different directions and we have drifted apart. A very wise 4 year old said this to me. "I still want to be her friend. Maybe she is tired from playing with you. So play with some other friends for a while and maybe she will play with you again later." (Thank you Oliver, you are amazing and I really appreciate your advice.)

The good news is the Dooley 3 are resilient and feeling stronger than ever.  Did I say 3? I mean the Dooley 4!  Yes, I am now carrying baby #2. It's a much different pregnancy than with Oliver. Much more nausea and exhausted all the time. I'm at 14 weeks now and finally is feeling a little better. We haven't told Oliver yet. Waiting till we know the gender before we make him officially big brother. I'm already so proud of him for being super caring and understanding when I've been too "sick" to play with him. This baby is very lucky to have a big brother like him. 

Meanwhile, I'm continuing to teach Mandarine at Imagine, working on a some freelance design projects, and working on getting my certificate for becoming a parenting instructor. I'm excited about 2013 and feeling more calm and at ease with where I'm at in this stage of my life. I'm working towards a more simpler life filled with happiness and peace. Whatever craziness that comes our way, I feel grounded enough to handle anything.