The New Toddler Days

It was the most surreal feeling. I had just fallen asleep in bed for a nap when I heard quick thumping foot steps coming down the hall followed by a loud "Mommy!" A joyous toddler comes running into the room waking me up. I knew what was happening, but it took me a few seconds to accept that it was not a dream...my little baby boy just climbed out of his crib when he decided he didn't want to take a nap.

The afternoon followed was quite a struggle for me. I was actually annoyed with my adorable son, who was so proud of himself for this latest milestone. I just kept thinking "I'm not ready for this." And the next day things got even more interesting. Oliver now tests to see how far he can get away from me, while he smiles and gets farther away. He kept going until he stopped by two chairs near an exit. He said he wanted to sit because he is tired. He actually said those words, but it was like watching a kid trying to get out of being in trouble.

Another time when I played drumming videos for him from YouTube, I asked him to help me clean up the toys. He responded "I'm doing this." with his finger pointing to the computer.

I know the terrible twos is only a phase, and I guess I should appreciate the fact that he hasn't had any tantrums over things. Mostly he laughs and thinks everything is a joke and do things on purpose to see what he can get away with. Or if he doesn't like it, he uses the phrase "I'm sad." or "I'm done." which he knows that's how he can get his way. I have learned to pick my battles. I do realize it's not easy trying to outsmart a toddler.

This morning I asked him to demonstrate how he climbed out of the crib. I just wanted to make sure he doesn't hurt himself before we get his bed converted. He picked up my tone that it was not something I was happy with, and did not fall for my "trap." Part of me is concerned he might hurt himself (We have placed a rug underneath months ago just in case this happened). Another part of me actually kind of likes waking up to see his little face while I'm still in bed. We'll have to see what happens tomorrow.

Baby Milestone - Two Years Old

Since the last doctor visit 3 months ago, Oliver now weighs 29.7 lbs. (the doctor said it looked like the last weigh in at 31 lb. didn't follow the curve and is probably a mistake). He grew another inch, now at 36 inches tall. And his head grew .5 cm. The biggest change was probably how he behaved at the doctor's office. This time, he did not want to stay in the exam room, so the doctor ended up going out by the fish tank and did the check up there. However, I must mention that it wasn't that Oliver decided to start his terrible-twos behavior in front of his doctor to make a point. It was most likely because we had gotten him so excited about seeing the fish tank in the waiting room, but he didn't get to visit his fish friends long enough that got him very upset. (We arrived right at appointment time.) So next time I'll be sure to get there much earlier to give him time to settle in first.

At 2-years old, Oliver still amazes me every day. He is talking so much more, 4-5 word sentences in both English and Chinese. He is using proper grammer, often says "I'm watching", "I'm done." And loves to describe things like "The blue trash can is behind the car." He is even singing the ABC song and Chinese version of Twinkle Twinkle little star. I have looked this up, and he's probably at a 3 year old level in speech skills. And I think most strangers can understand more than half of what he says, especially when he always remembers to say "Thank you", "Please", "Bless you", "Excuse me" (sometime adding psss...psss at the end because I did it once.) and sometimes "You're welcome".

Oliver still loves music. He now sings while he's playing with his toys, and dances whenever he hears music. He is interested in other musical instruments such as the cymbals, saxophone, and violin. It seems that he just gets excited about music and even recognizes the sound of the piano when he hears it. Every once in a while I'll find a video on YouTube to show him how an instrument works and sounds. He always watches intently and I feel like he's just absorbing it all until he gets his hands on one for real. When we are in the car he also asks me to turn up the music or to skip a song that he doesn't want to hear.

Since we stopped taking classes a few months ago, we've just been having more play dates and going out more. We love riding the trolley at the Grove, and the zoo is still one of our favorites. Most places we go now he's able to walk most of the way himself. He's good about stopping at the intersection, and always looks for a ramp to walk across instead of stepping up and down the curbs. He is very good about stopping at a sign or red light, and reminds me to go when the light turns green. And at the play ground, he is always waits for his turn.

Oliver continues to be helpful around the house. Now he can help open and close the car door, take off his own shoes and put them away when he gets home. He's good about letting me put on sunscreen before going out. And even though he now says "no" sometimes, he still does it eventually or we do it together. I'm always happily surprised when I walk away and come back to see the toys put away. One day we brought home a bunch of stuff from Costco, he started to help me bring in the boxes one by one from the car to the house. It was so nice for him to help, and he didn't just carry the light stuff!

When we are out, it doesn't take too much work to get him to leave with me when it's time to go. I try to let him know what's coming after we leave so there's something to motivate him. Then we say bye and thank you to the place or toys before we go. If we are with friends, he'll always give them a hug or high five. Those times I really do feel lucky and spoiled that I don't have to carry a crying baby out of a store.

And when it comes to sharing, Oliver is the most generous baby I know. He never gets upset when someone else takes his toy. I have explained to him when that happens that it's because the other person really wants to play too but hasn't learned to share. And a quick replacement of something else usually is ok with him. He has always loved to share his food with his family. And now he has learned to say "Try this!". Although he doesn't like to try as many food himself. However, if it's something he wants to eat, like a bagel or berries, he not only won't share, he asks for the biggest piece. Or maybe offer you a smaller piece.

At some point, Oliver started to show how empathic he can be. Any time he hears or sees a child crying, he stops what he is dong and watches to try to understand what's going on. I am usually next to him explaining to him what happened and what is being done to help. Oliver can also say the phrase "somebody help" which is really cute and thoughtful. A few times he has walked with me over to the child who is upset, I'll explain to the parent that he is very concerned. I will ask if he wants to rub their arm, tell them it's ok, or give them a hug. He is always happy to show them that he cares. At home, any time a stuffed animal falls, he always picks them up and give them a kiss. He does the same for his family when we are not feeling well. Today, a little girl at the park stepped on a bee. She sat on the bench while her mom took care of her. Oliver walked over, lifted up her bandaged foot and gave it a kiss. Then he asked "walk?" It was so sweet. I gave him a big hug after and told him how nice it was that he did that. And he saw her walk away and I think he felt better too.

Oliver now also asks me for permission. When he wants to bring along a toy out of the house, he'll pick it up and say it's name like a question while showing me the toy. "Boat come?" "Two toys?" When he asks so nicely and looks so cute, it's hard to turn him down. He also waits before touching his food for me to wipe his hands, and asks if he can go outside to play.

One of the most exciting thing to see is how his sense of humor has developed. He's always been a little silly and purposely do things to make us laugh. The latest thing he does is he'll hold something the wrong way and say "Like this?" and keeps going by figuring out what other wrong way he can do it. He also likes to make up words and funny sounds and waits for me to repeat it. One day I took the wrong street and told him I got lost, he sat in the back and started laughing. I asked "Are you laughing because mommy got lost again?" And it was as if he couldn't contain himself and laughed even harder and said "yah!"

Another amazing milestone is his sense of imagination. Pretend play is a popular game these days where we have imaginary dirty when playing with his trucks, imaginary food from his imaginary kitchen which is just a blank wall. He loves to exaggerate and pretend things are very cold or very heavy. One day he looked at his toy stethoscope and said "Y", then said "Apple" pointing to the ear piece part which curved around and looked like an apple, then closed the ear piece part and said "O" like the letter O. It was so great to see how visual he is and made those connections. And today when we visited Kidspace Museum, while playing with these foam building blocks, he surprised me again. He took 2 shapes and made a chair, then he wanted to turn it into a car and proceeded to put the cylinders next to it. It was so wonderful to be able to witness that.

I am so proud to see how much he has learned and how he is able to use that information and apply them to all different areas of his life. I am really enjoying my days with him, and feel that I have the responsibility to continue to expose him to new experiences. I can't wait to see what else he comes up with.

Happy Birthday Part 2

After a fun day of nothing but "focused" playing, Oliver had a nice bath, and wanted to be wrapped up like a burrito in his yellow towel, sit in his rocking chair, and drink warm milk before bed. What a sweet boy!

Oliver on his 2nd Birthday

Happy Birthday Oliver!!

It's Oliver's 2nd birthday today. Yesterday we already had our play group over for a mini birthday party in the back yard. He had lots of fun sharing his toys and snacks. All the kids loved the "water slide" into the Hippo kiddie pool and bubble machine. The home-made water park was a big hit.

Today Oliver and I had to run a few errands together to get ready for the second party with the family tomorrow. We first stopped at the grocery store to pick up some coconuts and pineapple. We got his favorite blueberries, which he got so excited he started to play drum on the container. It was fun until he dropped it and blueberries rolled everywhere. We waited until someone came with a broom to clean it up. And Oliver apologized and thanked the man in the red hat who helped us.

Then it was off to Honey Baked to pick up a ham for the party. While we waited, Oliver ran around the store and came back to me to sample a piece of ham. He loved it! So we decided to have sandwiches there for lunch. He chose the high chair over the booster seat. (good choice!) and we shared some more ham, a slice of whole wheat bread, some gouda cheese, and some "little tires" (sliced olives). Oliver did attempt to make his own sandwich by putting the ham on top of his bread. This is something new since he likes to eat each food by itself.

While enjoying our lunch, he all of the sudden said "Ann Dooley!" I was so surprised because I am not sure when he learned that. He was looking right at me, so I think he knows he's calling my name. It was really cute. Then later on, I heard him sing while looking out the window. After listening closely, I realized that he was singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in Chinese!! I had my phone and was able to record both of those. I had never heard him say those things and I was just so amazed by it.

Once we got home he played in the car for a while until it was time for his nap. We've been working on his nap and moving the time earlier for the past month. He went from not wanting to stop playing or me leave the room, to today, where he heard the cricket alarm I set to signal nap time and rolled over on the couch ready to be picked up. He told me he wanted the little book we were reading in the crib with him. Then he happily went to bed and talked to himself for about 10 minutes before falling asleep. It was so sweet and nice to know he understand it's time to rest and that when he wakes up I'll be there.

Only half the day has gone and we still have a whole afternoon to spend time together. I've got a lot to do for his birthday party, but I'm going to let those things wait and just enjoy our day having fun.

More to come later!

My first "Message from the President"-July 2010

It seems that 9 months is the magic number for me to get used to anything new. I went from being terrified by the idea of how much my life would change once I have a baby, to wondering how I ever lived without him. It took another 9 months to finally admit I couldn‟t do it all myself and hired a nanny. Then 9 months later, I let her go and joined the MOMS Club. And here we are, 9 months after joining, I've become the president of the Club.

I've always been a busy body. Having projects and coming up with new ones invigorates me. I really believed that not even a baby would slow me down. And when I was faced with the reality, and a bit of an identity crisis, I was devastated. The constant stress and sleep deprivation wore me down. Unfortunately that wasn't enough motivation for me to join the Club. I couldn't get over that I was no longer a "career woman". And saw “seeking support” as “being defeated.”

I spent many hours watching Oprah for inspiration when one show spoke to me. Someone said, you need to grieve for your old self before the baby because you'll never be that person again. Embrace the new you, because you are yourself, and so much more. This insight was the turning point. I realized my naive misconception held me back from being a part of such a wonderful organization. As I have learned that we all had to make adjustments in our lives for the benefit of our children. How selfless and admirable it is to be a stay-at-home mom. And for anyone who's been in the same place I was, I can confidently say that the Club has given me a new sense of purpose and belonging. It has renewed my energy and opened my mind. I am proud to be amongst such an extraordinary group of women. I am busier than ever doing the most rewarding and important job that I‟ve ever had.

I am honored to be in this position to be able to offer support to other moms in need. I hope to bring you and your children many fun and entertaining activities, as well as valuable information and assistance. I look forward to getting to know everyone. I appreciate having the opportunity to give back to a club that has helped me so much. And I am here to help with my arms and heart wide open.

Ann Dooley

President of MOMS Club

West Hollywood and Hollywood Chapter

Ann's projects -completed

I've been busier than ever with work not related to Oliver. I had gave myself a goal to have my first book published by my birthday. It didn't happen on time, but I have sent in the file and it should be up on Amazon.com for purchase early July. I can't believe it's really happening. I am excited and proud of myself for coming up with this project and following through with it. The title is now called "Quick Tips For First-Time Moms: A Simple and Practical Guide to Finding Balance". For the longest time I was only writing it for the first 3 months after giving birth. Those were really the toughest days I've ever had. Then I realized that a lot of the tips applied to pass that phase, and anyone with a baby can benefit from ways to get organized and bring more balance to their lives. So after many revisions and edits, I finally just had to go for it. This was a good experience working on the book and finding my own voice and style of writing. And I'm excited that I already other book ideas in mind. I found out a friend knows someone at a good publisher, maybe I can approach them with my book too and see where it goes.

Another project completed is the website redesign for the MOMS Club. I had volunteered a while back to make the site more of a resource that you can return to, then just an introduction of the Club. It's been great working with the moms in the group. One person programs the site, another helps to edit the content, another provides photography. It's truly a team effort. The design has been well received, and we're going to launch the site at the MOMS Club annual banquet, which I was in charge of planning...and where I'll be introduced as the new President of the Club!!!

So basically I had volunteered for a bunch of things to help out. It's all things I enjoy doing and it gave me a project to keep working on my design skills. When the position opened up because the person who was going to do it was moving away, I was so flattered that the executive board thought of me for the position. I was excited and knew I can do the job. So I accepted and started the process of learning the responsibilities of the job, as well as getting to know the members who I haven't met. I can't believe I have taken on a position that requires me to speak to a large group of people, but that was one of the reasons why I wanted the job. It's always been my fear, and what better way to get over it than to do it. It's much easier to practice in front of a group of people I already know...plus the babies will be a distraction if I ever mess up. I am loving being able to be helpful and connect with people. I think this job will really help me grow in so many ways. And I can show Oliver that his mommy conquered a fear and helped other people at the same time.

Going back to the banquet, I had designed the look of the event and made the party favors. This is another benefit of the President's position, that I get to do more event planning and build a little portfolio of cake decorating and event design.

This is a party favor bag I designed. It's an iron on to make these draw string bags custom-designed for our event. Inside we have 2 specialty-teas and some hand decorated cookies.

Another big project was 2 bathroom make-overs for my parents' house. They went on a trip to Asia for 2 months. And while they were gone I needed to stop by to check on the house. I decided they needs an update on their 2 bathrooms. So after a few trips to Target and Osh, I repainted both of them, and replaced everything from trash cans to towels. I really liked how they turned out. And they were happily surprised when they got home. My mom still says how much more relaxing it is to be in there that she doesn't want to leave!

I've also finished a few freelance projects from past clients. I was doing so much work that didn't make any money, I thought it was time to take on some paid jobs. I hope with Oliver taking good naps that I'll be able to work more, especially now that all the big projects are done.

Coming up next...

Members-Only Section for the MOMS Club website.

Do some marketing and promoting of the book

Planning Oliver's 2nd Birthday Party

Chris's Birthday celebration

and then...off to Hawaii for a much much much needed family vacation!!!

Baby Milestone - Twenty-Two and Three Months

Oliver continues to be the light of my day. He only gets more beautiful in every way, especially his loving gentle soul. He is pure joy and so much fun to be around. And continues to surprise me with his ability to learn new skills and words. He is also well mannered and extremely considerate. He remembers to use please and thank you. And likes to share his food and toys with others. He's never grabbed a toy out of another baby's hand, and also doesn't get upset when someone does that to him.

The past 2 months my parents have been away on vacation in Asia. Oliver missed his a-ma and ye-ye who normally visits him twice a week. He has learned the phrase that they've gone on an airplane to Taiwan, but once in a while he still looks out the window hoping to see my parents show up.

With a little more flexibility in our schedule, we've been able to have a few more outings. Oliver still loves to go to the zoo. And now we walk most of the way together which is a lot of fun. We also visited a friend who lives walking distance from the beach. Even though it was a cloudy day, Oliver still had a great time playing in the sand. We also went to Disneyland for the first time with his Grandma and Aunt Pat. He loved being in the hotel elevator with the big glass windows overlooking the fish and turtle pond. At the park, he enjoyed riding on the train, but a little scared of the other rides.

Grandad who normally visits us on Fridays alone, has surprised Oliver a few times with visits with Joan. Oliver loves playing with them, and Joan takes great photos of Oliver while playing. We've also gone out to Grandad's house a few times. Oliver loves to help do the dishes, water the plants, and sweep the floor. What a great house guest! Oliver really does help out a lot around the house. Now I can ask him to do something, walk away, and come back to see the toys all put away. And he knows when there's food crumbs on the floor, to get the broom and dust pan.

He is taking after me to be a good host when we have play dates at our house. He's very generous with sharing his toys and food. He is especially kind to his stuffed animal friends, who takes turns sleeping in his crib. His favorite toys now are his toy trucks with "boy", bus with "driver", Woody from Toy Story, and the latest a toy truck that looks like a tow truck in his favorite book "Cars, Trucks, and Things that Go". He loves trucks so much, he'll often run to the window when he hears the garbage truck passing by. And we're "lucky" to have many road constructions going on in the neighborhood to be introduced to construction trucks such as the back hoe and cherry picker. One day we just brought some water and snacks and sat in the middle of the sidewalk to watch all the construction work. We even took him to a "Touch-A-Truck" event where he was able to sit and honk the horn in every type of trucks imaginable. He even got to operate a backhoe, his favorite digger.

Our morning routine now is taking a walk as a family to a coffee shop, and once in a while we'll be joined my a MOMS Club friend and baby. Sometimes we'll sit on the porch before Dad leaves for work and watch trucks go by. Then we wave and shout out "I love you!" while Oliver waves his little hand. These days Oliver comfortably says 3 word sentences, and knows the alphabet. Every night before bed time we'll call Daddy at work and say good night. He also wishes us Happy Birthday with a big smile even not on our birthday, and says I miss you and knows what it means. His favorite Chinese phrase is "bu-shu-fu" which means "not comfortable." And at bed time, he often says "more play, no sleep." and "mommy, no leave. Stop!" which makes me very sad.

The sleep thing became something I needed to make changes to our routine because Oliver has become an expert at stalling. We played too much in his room and it was difficult for him to switch it off by bedtime. For a while we pretended his crib was a bus so he'd get inside, but then he just wanted to keep playing. So I came up with an idea to use the alarm on my phone and told him it meant it was time to get in the crib, and the second alarm means Mommy has to leave the room. It worked amazingly and he's been so good about getting into bed and not get upset about it. I do see the disappointment in his face, but I try to give him lots of kisses so he knows I'll be there when he wakes up.

Oliver still loves playing music. He's always love the drums, but now also enjoys the guitar and singing.

Oliver also had his first visit to the preschool he'll be going in September. He really loved it there with a huge sand box with rakes and trucks, little houses to play in, so much to do outdoors but all under the shade. I was so happy that he felt comfortable there. So much so that he didn't want to leave. I'm excited for him once he starts there 3 days a week.

In the coming months Oliver will have lots more first time experiences. He'll be going to a ball game, and getting on a plane to Kauai for a family vacation. It'll be so much fun! I can't wait!