Baby Milestone - Sixteen Months

These last few months Oliver has become more aware that he is an individual with his own thoughts and feelings. You can see it in his facial expression, and when he makes his "demands". There were a few very hard days when it seemed that nothing I did was what he had in mind, and he will throw himself to the ground and cry. Simple things that he used to just sign "please" or "more" all of the sudden seem like he never learned it. Everything was upsetting and he had zero patience for anything. I wondered how long it would last and what happened to my sweet little boy who now pushes me away when I try to kiss him.

Then a few days after, it's as if he realized that tactic didn't work...or maybe I just started to tell him "if you say please you'll get what you need right away." that he started to communicate with us again. Not only that, he also signs "Thank you!" He also started to enjoy sitting down then point to the spot next to him for you to sit. Or he will hear music and start dancing and spinning and wants you to join him. He also will pull my hand to take me to where he wants me to go, take the spoon or fork from my hand so he can feed himself. A new purchase of plastic bowls with suction cups on the bottom is a lifesaver for self-feeding. His favorite food now is oatmeal with peaches and blueberries. He also has decided he no longer needs bite sized food, and will take his fruits whole, and prefer taking a bite out of a meatball over smashing it up.

Oliver is still sleeping very well. While he was sick we put him to bed an hour early one night and found that he actually sleeps longer...almost 12 hours. He also takes a 2 hour nap from 1 to 3 most of the time. He sometimes wakes up crying, but I have found that bringing him some water when he wakes up is very helpful. It's funny that we have slowly adjusted our bedtime routine to be a fun family time. Instead of slowing him down we've actually been quite active, run around in circles in his room while clapping our hands, making funny voices while reading the same books (Freight Train,Spoon, and Polar Bear Polar Bear What Do You Hear are his favorites now) He no longer relies on the milk or the bottle. He'll drink the milk from a straw cup, play, read, run, then we blow out the 'moon" and he goes to bed. We are slowly introducing a pillow and blanket, but now he is still dressed in layers and socks to keep him warm at night. Lately I've been sneaking in the room to cover him with a blanket which I think helps keeping him sleep through the night. It's funny that he understands what sleep means because he started to sign sleep when he sees the bed. One night after dinner he signed sleep, and I thought "I better get him to bed soon! he is telling me he wants to sleep!" Today we went to the zoo, we saw a brown bear sleeping. So I signed to him that the bear is sleeping. By the time we got to the chimpanzees, Oliver saw a chimp laying down sleeping, he pointed to the chimp then signed "sleep". Wow....

Another huge milestone is our very casual attempt to potty train him. He's had 2 different potties that he played with for months and months. He likes sitting on them, or fill them up with water. Before bath is the perfect time to get him to sit on it without his diaper. In the last few months when he poops his diaper he sometimes will point to it to let me know he needs to be changed. And the doctor said that it was good that he is aware of what his body is doing. So in the last 2 months he has peed in the potty 3 times. Then yesterday he pooped in it! What a big achievement!

And by the way, he also started to give me kisses again.

Feeling Better

Both Oliver and I are feeling much better this week. His cold got better each day. He was probably tired of me wiping his nose every 2 seconds. His face had a scab under the eye and tip of his nose that also looked lighter and almost fully healed. As for myself, once I let it out I felt so much better. Sometimes that's all I need, a really good cry. It wasn't even like I was sad or anything, more tired and stressed I think. So I've been taking more time to make sure I eat and rest. And my latest tv obsession...netflix actually is the Showtime series Dexter-a show about a serial killer of other serial killers. If I can find the time to lay in bed and watch a show so far removed from reality, that's good times.

My mom is returning from Taiwan tonight after being away for 3 months. During this entire time I've only spoken to her once on the phone. The time difference plus the baby schedule made it hard to get connected. Mom and I, at least from my perspective, haven't had the greatest relationship. There's always some tension, fear on my end of disappointing her. I'm not sure where it came from, her comments always have affected me a lot. So it becomes a cycle where I am anxious in anticipation of what she might say, and then probably act weird around her and makes her feel the tension then say something that upsets me. If I saw the situation from a different perspective, I'd probably say how lame I am that I don't just enjoy her company. I think I always feel hopeful and want that, but find it hard to shake off old habits. Every year she goes to visit her family in Taiwan for a few months, and every time she returns is like another chance to start over. So hopefully this time it'll stick. The good news is my dad and I always end up bonding while she is away. I think maybe our personality if more similar, or that he is just more easy going...it wasn't always like that. I was so close to my mom and fearful of dad. Who knows what happened, I grew up and wanted to rebel maybe. She's seeing her daughter who no longer needs her, and she is hanging on tighter. Now that I have my own child, I can understand that. Oliver these days will not hug or kiss me and it makes me sad, but I know it's because he associates that with saying good bye...so in his own way, I know he loves me. I hope even when he is older I'll be able to have the same understanding.

Just about me...almost

These past week has been very tough on me. It all started when Oliver and I got into a car accident. It felt like one of those scenes in the movie where everyone else can see the car is about to hit you but you. Luckily no one was hurt. I don't even think Oliver realized what had happened. We were on our way home after visiting Chris at the office. A normal Friday afternoon interrupted by someone who was in a rush to go somewhere. He didn't even want to give me any of his information. I was intimidated and knew that I couldn't just let him leave without giving me something. I did manage to get a phone number, and he was truthful about the car not being his. He did however lied about his mom being in the hospital and that he had to leave. Things got worked out for the next few days with insurance and renting a car. I was surprised by how easy the insurance company have made it for us.

I think with that happening, I had to readjust my schedule and plans. It's not something I enjoy in my days. Everything is already so out of my control, having something like a car accident really throws me off. I had to reschedule a meeting I set up with a new potential design job. And leave the house after Oliver goes to bed for my meeting. It was strange to go out by myself at night. I couldn't remember the last time I did that. The meeting went really well. The name of the company is OLIVE U and the owner Jennifer needed someone to design appliques for her. She had received many referrals, but felt that I was right for the job. And so far she's been extremely happy with my work.

This past weekend was the Halloween party for the moms club. I'm enjoying being part of the club, mostly the outings that I don't need to come up with myself. It's nice to have some more mom friends to talk to. So far there are a few moms I enjoy talking to. Others are a little more intimidating. I think they are the ones that I feel like I have to really work on making conversations with them. I guess I don't really have to try that hard. I can't expect to get along with everyone, and the few that do seem more friendly towards me are enough for the short time we hang out with the babies. The party was nice and I was friendly with everyone. The highlight, although bums me out a bit, was a young boy telling me what a "sorry looking banana costume" I had on. One that I spent hours making and was very proud of. He didn't agree. I also made Oliver's Tarzan costume, which worked out pretty well.



Oliver got sick the next day. It could have been the other kids at the party, or when it cooled down for the evening. He had a runny nose and slight fever. When he gets sick he likes to be held a lot, so it was hard physically to keep carrying him. I'm happy to do it, but I can feel that all the holding and chasing him around has really taken its toll on my body. And being so close to him too puts me at great risk of getting sick also.

I can feel myself getting more sensitive to everything happening throughout the day. I felt anxious, tired, hopeless at times. I realize how stressful my job is to take care of Oliver. There's never a break, and even when he goes to bed, there's still more work to be done. Weekends don't matter either. It just never stops. Don't get me wrong, I love every minute of it. I think it's not that I don't want to do it. My body and emotions are just tapped out. I try to give 100% all the time, and I can feel that it's slipping down. It's not even about getting more sleep. I guess it's about making the time to give myself a break, both physically and emotionally.

Then yesterday, Oliver took a big fall in the backyard which left his nose and cheek bruised. He is fine, but along with the cold and teething he looks like a mess. Amazingly he is still in good spirits. Lately he started to push and pull me to where he wants me to go. He loves to see me sweep and vacuum. He keeps me moving all day long. We have discovered a children's museum nearby and joined the membership. So now we have the zoo, and the museum to go to whenever we can schedule it in. I've found that I much rather be out with him and let his surroundings entertain him than just me. It's probably better for him anyway. Although he never turns down a ride on the toy giraffe around the house while I pull him.

So...I had a break down. I cried while feeding Oliver dinner and expressed to him how tired I was. And he laughed at my tears, which made me realize maybe it's not that big of a deal. He gave me a hug, and it made me cry even harder. I just needed to release all the tension I've been suppressing. Because all of these days I have shut myself down so I don't have any needs to be fulfilled for myself. It's not a good plan because it just made life so much harder. I'm not sure what I'll do differently, but I know Oliver will benefit more from a mom who is more relaxed and takes care of herself.

In Transition

It seems that both Oliver and I are in a transition, we are both well on our way to figuring out who we are right now. We both have a lot going on each day, and luckily it's been mostly good. Actually there are very little not so great moments, but mostly it's because we are both tired.

I'll start with Oliver. Like most things now in my life, he comes first. It's like an automatic switch has been turned on where I don't even have to pause to see the world through his eyes. he has trained me well to meet his needs before all others. He is smart, I have 33 more years of experience than he does and he never hesitates to ask for help. Now that he knows how to sign "please" and the overly used "more", he can get just about anything. I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining. I'm not. His happiness is closely tied to mine. And even at times when I do feel like complaining, it's only when I'm exhausted.

Oliver is back in the new semester of music class. He's been a bit shy around the new kids in class, so he's been holding me very tight around the neck with his chubby cheek pressed against my. Then the teacher brings out a new music instrument, he'd go over to see what it is. This class has really shown me the mellow and curious side of him. When other kids want to push him out of the way, or grab a toy from him, he just observes and not react negatively. He dances to his own rhythm, sings when he feels like joining in, and hangs out by the corner so he can get a good view of the entire space. He is independent, and has many ideas of his own.



Other times he is the life of the party. When he goes to visit Dad at the office, he walks around unsupervised and finds his way. He plays his favorite game peek-a-boo with anyone who is interested, and visits his uncle Brumby for the little solar powered toy plant. He has no problem finding things to keep himself entertained, and loves to pick rocks from the atrium and give them to his Dad. It's funny that just a few months ago he can walk underneath Chris's desk, but now he needs to watch out or he'll bump right into it. I'm guessing he's about 33, 34 inches tall now.

Before Oliver's nanny Michelle finished up working for us, I wanted to make sure that Oliver would take his naps in his crib. It was easier when Michelle came that she can walk him in the stroller while I do my work around the house. However, I just can't walk that much in a day, especially when we like our morning walk as a family about 2 miles round trip to get coffee on Sunset Blvd. Oliver not only naps well in his crib, he has also transitioned himself from 2 naps (9:30, 1:30) to 1 nap at 1pm for 2 hours! It's been consistent and wonderful for me. Even though at first I didn't know what to do with all that time, I soon learned to just stop and rest. He often wakes up laughing, talking and singing (which meant he had a great nap). And that makes me very happy.

Oliver's also has moved from the bottle for milk to a sippy cup. And the high chair to eating at a small table and chair set I got from IKEA. He can get up on the chair himself, and I am teaching him to stay seated while he eats his meal. These days he can't live without bread and fruits. And he can eat bananas all day if I allowed it. He calls them mama! He is also well on his way to feeding himself with a spoon. It's funny to watch him chase the food around.

On Sundays, Oliver goes to his swim class. Even though it's only 15 minutes each week, he is making really good progress. He has stopped crying through the classes, and is having a great time with the instructor Lana. It often seems like he doesn't want to leave, and he waves to her goodbye. Now he has no problem jumping into the water, and float on his back.



The biggest change is Oliver's ability to imitate actions. Sometimes you just have to show him once and he learns how to do it. Some of things he enjoys doing now is spinning till he falls down dizzy, drawing with crayons, bath himself with soap and fill a cup with water to rinse his body, throwing away his dirty diapers (now I don't even have to follow him to the trash can) and using the hand sanitizer afterwards, helping me with laundry by putting the dirty clothes in the hamper, or pushing the clothes into our front loading dryer, he loves to water the plants with a watering can, clean up with the broom or vacuum (not well enough to actually clean, but he likes to try), He loves to throw the ball, and getting better at t-ball.



So last week, October 3rd to be exact, Oliver gave me the first real kiss on the cheek before he went to bed. It was the sweetest little kiss. I was so happy and excited, I started to cry. Of course I did! Wow, it was wonderful. Since then he's given me many more kisses and hugs, but I'll always remember that first time. : )

These days I still take Oliver to the LA zoo every chance I get. We must have gone there over 10 times this year. He loves seeing the animals, collect leaves, and just explore the land.



Now on to myself. First of all, I slept really well last night. Everything seems to be working in a good rhythm. I'm able to do all the chores with Chris and Oliver helping me whenever they can. My new freelance design job is going really well. My friend Corri and I worked very well together back when we both were at Disney, and now even though he is in Colorado, we are able to get so much done through our phone, email, and video chat. I am able to get some more urgent projects done while Oliver is napping. The rest of the work I do after he goes to bed for 2-3 hours. At first that felt very stressful. Between taking care of Oliver (which takes more energy than ever to keep up with him), taking care of the house (chores, running errands, overseeing home improvement projects), I really don't get any time to rest. Because as soon as one stops, the other picks up. By the time I finish making dinner, it's time to hop on the computer. It really was overwhelming.

This past week, I took on even more. I was helped some friends designing flyers for their kids' school.They loved my designs, and I realized that in the future it would be helpful to tell any potential schools Oliver might want to get into that I can do flyers and t-shirts.

The other thing was that I finally signed up to join the Moms Club of West Hollywood. Our friend and neighbor Carla is the VP of the club, she's been asking me to join since I met her almost a year ago. I was very hesitant because I knew it would involve me doing some design or cake decorating from time to time. And even though I am someone who loves to help out, you can understand my hesitation by how much I already have on my plate. After asking them to swap baby sitting while Chris and I went to the Hollywood Bowl for a Kylie Minoque Concert (which was really fun and an amazing show!) I thought it was time to join the Moms Club. I just had to get it out of my head that it was going to be "work", instead remind myself that it's a group to support each other. So a few days ago I attended our first meeting. Oliver had fun playing with the other babies, and I had a chance to be informed by a guest speaker about private elementary schools. I also joined the event planning committee to talk about our Halloween party. I volunteered to bring cupcakes, design the evite, and a background for a photo booth at the party.


Since then there's been many email exchanges with my new friends who all are very nice. I think this is a good opportunity to let my guard down and not assume I know how the club will affect my life. I believe I will relax more and start to really enjoy the benefits of having that support, especially now that I'm taking care of Oliver all day and working part time.

A quick photo update: Chris was a part of his friend Dave's wedding last month. It was a nice wedding at the Pasadena City Hall, a beautiful spanish court yard with an amazing fountain. The highlight of the whole experience was a photo booth they set up for the guests. We had fun posing as you can see.



I haven't taken new photos of the new room set ups after we made the switch, but this is the view I'm looking at now while I sit on the bed comfortably with a laptop. Oliver is taking a nap at the moment, and the birds are chirping...life is good.

Makeover!!

My good friend from Art Center is getting into doing make up for people. Since I have an upcoming wedding to attend, she took some time after Oliver went to bed to teach me how to do it over video chat. Here are the before and after. I think she did an amazing job! I can't wait to try it out again this weekend and will take lots of photos.

Baby Milestone - Forteen Months, and other updates

I really should update the blog more often...but then again my list of things to do seems to only get longer. It's been a great month. Oliver is still amazing!!! He is such a happy baby. He is so helpful around the house. He loves to throw away his dirty diaper or any trash. He puts the dirty laundry in the hamper. He knows to be careful when he closes a door or cabinet to not pinch his finger, but even if he does he shows me where it hurts. He's been signing more and now signs please and sometimes thank you. He definitely understands everything I tell him. I love watching him problem solve when it comes to reaching for something or how to hold on to what he wants and still grab something else. Physically he is still growing big and tall. He also has an amazing head of curly hair that everyone adores.

This past month, Oliver's been doing better and better in his swim class. He is able to float on his own! And he went from crying throughout most of his 15-minute class, to last weekend with no tears. He was having such a good time in the water and felt so comfortable, I think he was sad to leave. Another big adventure was that we attended my old friend Lenny's daughter's 4th birthday party. They had a petting zoo and pony ride at a park in Tehachapi where they lived. It was a long 2-hour drive to get there, but worth the trip to not only see my good friends, but to see Oliver having a great time.

A few days ago we decided to switch our bedroom with Oliver's room. It was so that he can have a quieter and warmer space. So now our bedroom has the french door entrance to the backyard. And we are loving the new set up and convenience. We have a few other updates lined up to make the home even more comfortable and more usable space. It's great that even after all these years we can still make small changes to the house but have a big impact. It's evolving as our needs have changed, and it's good to know we can definitely enjoy the home we love for many more years.

This past Monday was also our nanny's last day. We had given her 2 months to find a new job, and it worked out that she left 2 weeks early to a family with 2 older children. We will see her often still when we have date nights or morning appointments. I'm glad that we had her for as long as we did and I was able to get the things I need to get done completed. It'll be great to save that money. And speaking of money, I have just been hired by an good friend from Disney to do some design work. It could potentially be a long term deal, so I'm very excited about the extra income.

My website is also completed an has been well received. I'm so glad I got it done and now I have a place to continue updating with more of my projects.

More to come...

Baby Milestone - Thirteen Months, and other updates

So after the wonderful birthday celebration, Oliver had his first doctor visit as a "toddler" when he got more vaccination shots. One of which made him get a fever and rash. We were so worried since one of the shots was in the headlines a lot for links to autism. Our doctor says not to worry, but that's useless telling first time parents. Turns out all the side-effects were normal and went away after a few days. However, Oliver had a cold, then we all got sick for 2 weeks.

Oliver now weighs 22 lbs, and is 31 inches tall! Catching up to me very soon. He is very strong too, pulling himself up with only his upper body strength. And he is walking all over the place and climbing 2 flights of stairs every morning in front of the Crunch Gym at the corner of Sunset and Laurel Canyon. He pretty much understands everything I tell him and helps out with putting his dirty diaper in the trash and laundry in the hamper. However, he also has figured out he can scream and cry when I do something he doesn't like.

So Chris and I decided to let our nanny go by the end of September. It was good that since she's been with us I got to work on my book to help new moms, and took the cake decorating class, but the rest of the time I felt like I was creating work to stay busy while she spent time having fun with Oliver. So now that we've set a date, I'm actually using her time better. I'm in the process of putting together a website for myself to show all of my design work, cakes, t-shirts, home decorating stuff, and my book that I finally finished.



We were also looking into finding a bigger home in South Pasadena thinking that we plan ahead for the good school district. We started to look and were disappointed with what we saw. None of the houses have big back yards like we do. Or if people have done updates on their homes, they didn't do a good job at it. And the prices were so high too, and we're just not ready to make a commitment like that. So instead, we are making some smaller updates to our home to freshen it up. So that's been fun too trying to repurpose and redecorate.

Chris has been doing great at work, directing his latest music video for Selena Gomez. It is so good!!! The first time I watched it in rough cut I cried. I can't wait till it's on tv and see how people react to it. I know people will love it and make Selena a big music star!