What has Ann been up to, that's not baby related.

So somehow this blog has become an update on what Oliver has been up to. Hey! get your own blog Oliver! (Just kidding, mommy loves you) I thought before I enter another milestone update. I should write down my latest projects.

During the first few months of Oliver's arrival. I had a really hard time adjusting to my new life. Postpartum depression hit me pretty hard, and I had trouble coping with being a stay at home mom. All that seem like so long ago, and I've since recovered and feeling 95% like my old self. The other 5% is my never ending nursing and pumping schedule that keeps me close to home. And the other is waking up at 5:30 am each morning and taking a 2 mile walk with Chris and Oliver.

The hard days have inspired me to write a guide book with tips to help new moms. I had one draft that was put to use when our friends Corri and Kristin were about to have their baby. Brielle was born the next day after an "in-home consultation". She must think her mom is a fast learner. I tried out the book on another new mom who also has a little Oliver. Both times I felt great helping someone going through a tough transition in their life. I was surprised that I have somehow made myself an expert at this subject. On and off I found time to rework the book and redesign it. It's been on hold for a little bit because of other projects, but I will get back to it for sure. My plan is to find a publisher as soon as it's finished.



I've also started to take cake decorating classes. I've been watching all the cake decorating shows on Food Network thinking "I can do that!" I found a class at Michael's craft store, and I have completed course 1, 2, and now taking course 3 making tiered cakes. I was never a fan of eating frosting, but now I'm making frosting and baking cakes almost every week. I am enjoying it a lot. The ladies in my class are all very nice, and they like to sing along to the music inside the store while piping frosting to a cake! I will be using this new skill to make the most awesome birthday cakes for Oliver!

Here are some "practice" cakes I've done.







And my latest project is designing a logo for my sister who is trying to open her own nightclub/restaurant in Shanghai. She's been an amazing jazz musician for many years, and it's time she takes a big step. We emailed back and forth and came up with the name Shanghai La Vida. After a few rounds of designing and revision. I'm still working on putting together a presentation for her while she looks for investors. Fingers crossed she'll soon be a happy club owner. Here's the final logo:



And last, we've just started to look for our next house. It's something we've talked about, but it always feels like it's a long time away. Now that Oliver is almost one, we are starting to think about where to move to so he can get the best education. That will keep me busy for a while I'm sure. I can't even think about packing and moving right now.

Until next time...here's another baby milestone update.

Baby Milestone -Ten Months

Hello Everyone! Oliver just had his 10 months old check up this morning. He did extremely well. Starting with laying and sitting still for the nurse to take his measurements. He now weighs 20 lbs 12 oz., 29.8 inches tall. His head circumference is 45 cm.

He still has a little cold and cough, but it's all in his nasal passage and not in the lungs. He has 2 new teeth on top, and 2 more about to pop out on the bottom.

Other big developments are:

1. He understands the words "where is" "ball" "toothbrush", there would be toys all over the floor, but when I ask for the ball, he crawls over and touches it. He also love to open and close doors. And he understands that in English and Chinese!

2. He can walk with little support, some times only being held by one hand.

3. He likes to pick up food and feed himself. Chicken and avocado still is his favorite. He also enjoys pinto beans and broccoli.

4. He loves to play the drum or anything he can hit like a drum. We learned from a visit to a musician friend's house that Oliver is also excellent with the tamboreen with good form, and made a few sounds on the harmonica!

5.He loves to play hide and seek. He starts the game by going behind a wall or the couch, waits for you to look, than peek his head around with a big smile. He also hides behind you if you are sitting on the floor. He may even give you a back massage.

6.He likes to play chase and have you crawl behind him.

7.He also figures out how to turn the walker so he can keep moving! So he is all over the house with the walker. Nothing can stop him now.

8. He can say baba dada mama and blow air out to make his lips vibrate. He often sings little tunes, and I like to sing along with him.

9. He will dance to any music and clap.

10. He like to wave, often with both hands at the same time. Or I suspect he is being sarcastic and making air quotes.

The doctor said he is thriving and showing developmental skills months beyond his age. So as if you don't already know, we think he is perfect!

Baby Milestone -Nine Months

Doesn't he look like a big kid? At 9 months, Oliver has truly become a very interesting little person. His personality is starting to show through. And he is laughing and smiling more than ever. Most of the week he spends part of his day at the park nearby with other kids. There are quite a few baby girls who just want to hug and kiss him. He also enjoys bonding with the boys and does his signature pointing gesture when he sees them. It really helps that he is crawling like a pro and doing more walking with the walker. He has also figured out how to stand on his tippy toes, which makes reaching for things much easier for him, but more work for mommy to baby proof the house. He has also mastered playing peek-a-boo by lifting up a blanket to cover himself, or hide behind the wall or couch and wait for us to find him. He also loves to play chase and crawl after him. With every game he always cracks up laughing so hard his eyes get so squinty. I love his giggly laughs!

Oliver got to spend a little bit of time at the Santa Monica beach one afternoon. It was a very hot day and I had an optometrist appointment on the west side. It just made sense to bring him and the nanny along to get some ocean breeze. It was so spontaneous, but a wonderful time. Oliver loved to play in the sand and feel the cold water splashing on him. He didn't even care he was soaking wet and covered in sand. Needless to say he had a great nap on the way home.

Oliver continues to enjoy trying new food. We went to a taco party at my old boss's house. Mmmm....they were the best tacos made fresh with all the toppings. Oliver liked them too. He got to have some chicken, pork and little pieces of tortilla. He even got to put on a bib that says "I LOVE TACOS!"

Another exciting thing is that now he can sit in a shopping cart! So I took him to Target one afternoon. We started out going very slow, once he got the hang of it, he knew where to hang on. He really enjoyed the view from the cart, and everyone got to see his curious little face. He did really well, and we picked up a pair of swimming shorts for him that day.

The weather is warming up, I'm sure we'll be having more outdoor fun in the coming months.

Baby Milestone -Eight Months

Growing and growing. Ollie now weighs 19.9 lbs and has grown an inch up to 29 inches long. His head also grew a centimeter, Probably because we always tell him how cute he is. He is crawling all over the house and pulling up to standing. He can let go and stand for a few seconds unsupported. So we are thinking he will be walking soon! He has two more teeth coming out.

The doctor gave us the ok to start giving him finger foods. So I chopped up some chicken and avocado and waited to see his response. We've got a great video of it, he was curious and seemed interested in the texture of it. It took a few days before he started to get the hang of having solid food in his mouth. Some of his other favorites are salmon with spinach and rice, and scrambled eggs or cottage cheese for breakfast.

On March 14th, we took a trip to San Diego to visit grandma. We took Oliver to the zoo. This is our first trip with him as a crawler. We found a hotel that has a kid's room attached so Oliver can go to sleep early in his own room. It was nice to have the room divided, but we still had to be creative and hang sheets to block out the light coming from our side of the room. Mommy figured out a way to use the sink as a food station, even used the bottle warmer as a sterilizer for the washed bottles. Oliver had a great time checking out all the animals at the zoo, but I think the real fun for him was crawling around in his room like a new playground.

A new game I came up with this month was blanket surfing. After 8 months being in the same living room, it was time to invent some new ways to play. Oliver loves to be on the move, so being pulled around a blanket was great fun for him. We also lined up the dinning room chairs to make a tunnel to crawl through. He didn't know mommy can be so silly sometimes.

Baby Milestone -Seven Months

The difference between 6 and 7 months is huge. On February 8th, Oliver had his first "crawl". He was in his room, while Chris and I sat on the chair watching him struggle. He was determined and had his eyes on the toy near my foot. It took about 5 minutes for him to army crawl and frog leap over to the toy that was about a foot away. We were so happy for him, and felt slightly bad for his frustration. Then each day that passed, he moved a little farther, a little faster. In the mornings we'd read together on the rug in his room. He'd crawl closer to grab the book, and I'd rotate just a little to the right and we move in sync like the arms of a clock...that went on for a few more days until one morning, Oliver crawled away towards his toy box. He proceeded to pull it out and try to pull himself up and look inside. I panicked for a moment and thought "I need to baby proof the house ASAP!"

Since then Oliver has been moving around the house, trying out new moves, going from crawling to sitting (super strong abs!), trying to pull himself up to standing. He aimed right for the power outlet, he moves to the front door and tries to reach the door knob. He has definitely discovered this new ability to move, and is on an adventure around the house.

It wasn't long before I found him sitting up in his crib, holding onto the side of the bed. It's a sad sight, but also very adorable. He also has no fear of heights. Chris tosses him in the air, swing him around, and Oliver just loves it and laughs the whole time.

Oliver has also been trying to talk. For days he would make the "bbbb" sound and blow out air. 3 days later, he finally got "baba!" out of his system. I've also heard "googoo" and lots of other sounds like feels like they're words making up a sentence.
His bottom tooth finally came out, and another on it's way with 2 more on top.

I think Oliver is a little multi-tasker, don't you think?

Work In Progress

Counting the first month I took off work before Oliver's birth, I've been home for about 8 months. I can't believe how much time and how quickly the days have gone by. Baby brain is still making things easy to forget, but I do know it's been difficult making adjustments to my new life. Oliver continues to do well and making great strides. He's happy, healthy, and has been a wonderful sleeper. I have no complaints except for occasionally he likes to chew on my hair and pull on them.

Myself on the other hand has been on a roller coaster ride that I'm hoping to get off soon. It's as if when I gave birth I used not only my physical strength to endure labor, but I also lost some of my emotional strength. It's understandable that with the hormones going crazy, a little bit of postpartum depression is to be expected. I just didn't think I'd have such a hard time adjusting. It is so much better than the first few months, but there are still some lingering issues I need to deal with.

As the months go by, a little bit of my old self comes back. I've lost all the baby weight. I've been cleaning and organizing the house from top to bottom. I've got all of our taxes done early. I even finished a book project with practical tips to help other first-time moms. I've got a great set up with a nanny who comes 3 times a week so I can get chores and errands done. A cleaning lady who helps with the kitchen, bathrom, and the floors, the gardeners come every week too. All that's left for me to do is focus on taking care of Oliver and the household stuff.

So when I was still feeling anxious and frustrated, I didn't know why or what to do. Is it my need to have control, or my inability to relax and enjoy people helping me? Do I miss having a career? Why don't I see taking care of Oliver as being productive? Is it too early to try to find answers, maybe I need to wait they'll surface on their own?

I finally searched online for "adjusting to being a stay at home mom". I was surprised by how many other moms shared the same confusion. We all were good at doing tasks and finishing projects that shows clear results that can be measured. Taking care of a baby and making him happy is the result, but so often it's credited to the baby being born with an easy temperament. Or, the result of all the hard work will reveal itself 18 years from now.

Work in progress, transitioning, adjusting. Whatever it's called I'm right in the middle of it and can't see very clearly where I'll end up. It's not a place I enjoy and I have to remind myself not to over think things. I did make some progress. I realized that I've spent so much time working on being the best "ME" I can be to society, to my family, my job, I'm stuck in that mode. And with my new mom title, I just want to be the best mom I can be. I don't know why I see them as 2 separate roles, but as of right now I'm feeling the pressure of trying to pick a side.

I may be I'm one of those people who believes you have to struggle for the end result to be worthy of the time and suffering. Just like my 22 hour labor without an epidural, I wanted to experience childbirth with every painful contraction only to end up in a c-section. Maybe a part of me still haven't resolved those feelings, that instead of seeing the result of having a healthy baby and healthy mom, I am focused on not able to carry out something I planned for 9 months. So I agonized over whether to return to work or stay home. And who will take care of the baby if I went back to work. I'm stressing over not doing "enough" for being home. And sees being home as me being lazy or not driven, and having help as me not adequate enough to do it all myself. There is the part of me that feels undeserving of the luxury and guilty for the freedom. All these emotions feels unnecessary if I can just accept that things are different now and my "plan" has to evolve too. And it is, and I am. It's just uncomfortable in the process.

So what I really should learn from this is to be more like Oliver. He has no plans, he takes one day at a time. He doesn't suppress any of his emotions. He asks for help when he needs it. He tries new things everyday. He learns new skills and practices them. He laughs at whatever life throws at him. He knows he is loved and is very happy to share his love with a big smile. I should remember these lessons. It makes you wonder why he has chosen this time to be in my life.

Baby Steps

When Oliver was about 2 months old, I started reaching out to friends who recently had babies for advice. I was having a hard time recovering from the delivery. With the lack of sleep, and me being stubborn about doing the same tasks I used to around the house, my energy and spirit was at my all time low. When you are in that position and the hormones working against you, it is really hard to see the experience of having a baby as "enjoyable". I loved Oliver more than anything, but I did not love the way I felt each day.

After getting some encouragement from those who have been through it, I had to think positive that things will get better. During that time I started to think about writing a helpful guide for first time moms to survive the first 3 months after birth. There were so many things I learned during that time that if I were to do it over I would change. I started to jot down notes and gather helpful tips. I think having that focus also helped keeping my mind off of my sleep deprivation and my internal conflict about my career life. Although each day felt long and tiring, the baby brain makes you forget how hard it was. That must be nature's way of keeping the civilization alive, otherwise who would do this over and over again?

So by the time Oliver was 6 months old, I was ready to put the book together. I was motivated by our good friend who was due on Valentine's Day. So that gave me a deadline to finish and ready to present. With my show and tell bag packed, I was off to Kinko's to get my first book bound. It looked quite impressive I thought to myself as the guy behind the counter came back with a book with an image of Oliver's little feet on the cover. "BabySteps-Simple tips to help first time mom survive the first three months" was the title. By Ann Dooley. Inspired by Baby Oliver.

The visit to my friend's house was a success. She looked amazing, resting her hand on her belly. She seemed calm and comfortable for the most part. We had a great time going over all the tips. I was surprised and happy that I was able to answer all of her questions. I felt energized and wanted to do more for her, but it was time to head home to Oliver.

Two days after, we saw her husband's facebook update saying she has gone into labor. I was excited and nervous for them. I almost felt like I was going to have a baby. The next day we heard the great news that she had a baby girl. It brings back memories of when we first met Oliver and how tiny he was. And that same night, Oliver made a huge step, he crawled for the first time! it took some time and frutration, but he moved all on his own for about a foot to pick up a toy. I was amazing watching him figuring it out. One day he was lifting body up with his arms straight and falling, the next day he can push himself back up, then the day after he can lift his legs up too. And finally he put all the pieces together and reached out. How amazing it is to see these transitions. I don't even want to blink so I don't miss anything.

I can't wait to meet Oliver's new friend and check in to see if they've tried out the tips from my book.