Telling Chris's Mom

The train ride to San Diego was very easy. We moved along the ocean and arrived there a little over 2 hours. Chris's mom picked us up from the train station and took us across the bridge to Hotel Del Coronado. We stayed there last year also and really enjoyed our stay. They have decorated the hotel with holiday decorations, trees, and have an outdoor ice skating rink, which helps it to feel more like Christmas in the California 70 degree weather.

After checking and getting to our room, we suggested we give mom her gifts before we go to food. She had just moved into a new apartment and needed some new photos from us. So we framed a picure of Chris with mom's dog Alexa, and one of our wedding photos. Then the moment came to give her the picture with us and the ultrasound. I don't think I was ready for her reaction. Needless to say she was overwhelmed with joy. And that's when we gave her part two of that gift, we had gift wrapped some kleenex tissues knowing she'd need them after she saw the photos.

We had a nice lunch together and Chris and I went back to the room to rest. Since we both stayed up late the night before, we both took a really long nap. I had packed a few snacks for the trip and would wake up every few hours to eat something. Since there was nothing good on tv either, we took advantage of our time away and allowed ourselves to catch up on our sleep.

On Sunday morning we had brunch at the downstairs restaurant. Our only goal for the day was to walk along the beach, read by the pool, and get some ice cream from the Moo Time Creamery. We did well that day.

For dinner, we made reservations at 1500 Ocean, an upscale at the hotel. I think that's what we love about the Hotel Del, you can spend your whole vacation there and never have to get in your car! As soon as our waiter came we realized he also served us last year when we're there. We reminded him that and even gave him the update that we're expecting! later Mark, our waiter referred to himself as a new uncle.

Our meal was great and filling...I did cut up the rest of my steak and packed myself a little snack for later. The rest of the night was watching another showing of the movie "40 Year old virgin" and "Elf" which were playing all day on USA.

The next day Chris's mom picked us up from the hotel. We then checked into a Marriott closer to her apartment for Christmas eve. We spent the afternoon shopping and relaxing. Then we got to see her new apartment for the first time fully furnished. It's a really cute and fun apartment and she really enjoys living there and making friends with her neighbors. Two of them even dropped by to say hi to us.



Chris's mom prepared a nice Christmas dinner, and we spent the rest of the evening getting our Christmas gifts and watching A Christmas Story...which was also doing a marathon. We caught the rest of the movie back at our hotel, and saw more of Elf and 40-Year-Old Virgin. I think we must have watched pieces of those 3 movies 5 or 6 times in those few days.

We had a wonderful time in San Diego, but we were also ready to head back home.

Chris's Holiday Party

This year, Chris's company National Television held their holiday party at the Downtown Edison on December 21. The Edison is Downtown's first private power plant. Now as a night club/lounge, you walk into a space as if you've gone back into the 1920's. Even the bouncers and waitresses are dressed like their from another time.

And since we're going to take the train from the Downtown Union Station the next day to visit Chris's mom in San Diego, we decided to spend the night at the Standard Hotel...not only save us a trip back home, but also if I get tired from the party I can leave early. The plan worked out great! We leisure went over to the Standard in the afternoon and got ready for the party there.



The party was a great turn out, about 50-60 people showed up. Chris's Dad and his wife who have been to the Edison were also there for the festivity. I found myself a corner couch, and ordered a sparkling cranberry juice. I chatted with the wives of Chris's partners and coworkers about how I've been feeling, and occassionally as new people showed up they'd come by and talk to me. I took advantage of them knowing I'm pregnant and want to stay off my feet and stayed on the couch. Then later in the evening Chris showed me around to introduced me to a few new people. It was also a tour of "feel Ann's belly".











I was pretty tired by 12:30 am...way past my bed time. So Chris's dad drove me back to the hotel and I went to bed shortly after. The next morning Chris and I had breakfast downstairs. I was so hungry I ordered steak and eggs and was surprised I ate the whole steak.

We got on the train and chatted about the party along the way. It seemed that we both had a great time and so did everyone else. : ) The funny thing was, this girl at the party who neither one of us knew also said we're having a boy! We hope to find that out in a month or so.

Telling Chris's Dad

On December 19th, Chris and I made plans to have dinner with Chris's Dad and his wife Joan. The excuse was to get together for a pre-Christmas dinner since Chris and I will be out of town...but turns out Dad was already thinking we're there to tell them the good news. As soon as we showed up at their house he was suspicious of me not drinking, then we chatted for a bit and decided to open gifts before we head out to dinner.

As we did with my parents, we handed Grandpa Dooley the picture frame. It was hugs and smiles after that. Then out of the blue, Chris's Dad said "It's a boy"...the funny thing was, my friend Steve did a "ring test" where he dangles his ring over my belly that is supposed to predict the sex of the baby. And he said it's a boy also. We asked Dad why he said that, he just said "Just felt like it's a boy!"

We had a nice dinner at a French restaurant in South Pasadena called Bistro de la Gare (It's right by the train tracks) I had a salad and some pork...but it was too sweet (part of the food aversion maybe) but really liked the bread, so I took some to go.

It was a great evening, we all had fun and enjoyed sharing the good news and experience together.

Two down, one to go.

Telling Ann's Parents

It hasn't been easy keeping this big secret. I usually try to visit my parents on the weekend for a few hours to catch up, but since I haven't had much energy and slowly starting to show...I haven't visited them for about a month.

December 16th was my dad's birthday. I talked to my mom a few days earlier to set up a time to have dinner together in their home. We got our framed photo of baby Dooley along with other gifts and headed over.

Dad had been cooking all day, while mom was working at their shop. Chris and I stopped at the Chinese market to pick up some Tiramisu and fresh veggies before meeting them.

I tried to hide my belly with a scarf and while they were busy getting Chris and I to sit down and start eating, we tried to get them to sit down so we can share the big news.

We told them we wanted to give them the gifts first...so one after another we gave them the other gifts. Finally, I took out the picture frame and told them it was an early Christmas gift for both of them. Dad opened the 2 sided frame, one with a photo of Chris and I from our trip to Napa Valley, the other was the 9.5 week ultrasound. Dad who has never seen an ultrasound photo took a little while to see what it was. Then mom took it and said "oh...is that from last time?"...So imagine how surprised she they were when I said, nope! it's a new one.

Mom screamed and jumped up and started dancing around the dinning room. Dad was laughing and called mom Grandma. We all hugged and Chris and I gave them more details about what's been going on.

Dad pointed out that he normally buys sashimi for dinner but he didn't this time! As if he knew something was up.

We had a wonderful dinner and headed home knowing how happy we've made them.

The next day I got an email from my sister Carol. Mom must have called her right after we left. Carol was also very happy for us. She is looking forward to seeing how our baby will look!

One down, 2 more to go!

9.5 Weeks

December 12th - 9.5 Weeks

So the morning/all day long sickness has kept me off the computer most of the time. My days are all about what my next meal is going to be. Usually breakfast is the biggest meal. Chris brings me toast with cream cheese before I even get out of bed. I eat that in bed, then get up and head straight to the kitchen to make something warm to eat, usually eggs or some type of hot soup. Then when I get to work, I head to the commissary and get either fruits with yogurt, or if I'm really hungry...a breakfast burrito.

By 11:30, I'm ready for a snack. I try to bring fresh fruits or some cooked leafy greens to get my vitamin C. Then about 12:30, my co-workers will ask "what does the baby want to eat today?"...So far the requests have been IN & OUT Burger, Thai, Greek, Chinese. Everyday is another culinary adventure for the baby.

Around 3:30, It's time to finish my lunch left over, or try to find more snacks or food in the building. I'll need this extra meal so I'm not hungry when I'm driving home. Can't even imagine being stuck in traffic without any food. I'd probably pull off the nearest exit to feed that hunger.

Surprisingly, I've only put on about 3 lbs. I do feel proud of the fact that I try to eat very healthy and as natural as possible. I'm also sticking very closely to what not to eat. I do miss bacon...and ham...and oh...sushi.....

Emotionally I feel good. I have been feeling more emotional and sensitive at times. The only frustration I've experienced are results of being too tired to talk. The urgency of shutting my eyes when that fatigue hits you is so intense, you just can't fight it. I often say to Chris "please stop asking questions". My brain just doesn't have enough blood circulating to it to form a sentence sometimes.

At our second ultrasound, we got to not only see something that looks a lot more like a baby. We got to hear the heart beat! AT 187 beats per minute, it sounded strong and rhythmic. When we saw the photo, we knew what we'll be giving our parents this Chrismas.

Baby's first picture

If the highlight of the morning of November 27th wasn't that we saw Nicole Richie and her boyfriend near the elevator of a parking garage, then it must be that Chris and I saw the heart beat of our growing baby. It was the day we were both very nervous about. Since our last experience with the ultrasound wasn't a pleasant one. This time, accompanied by my morning sickness...a sign of all the hormones working in our favor, we waited anxiously for the image to appear on the monitor. It was strange how quickly we saw something this time...and after moving around, we saw a mini flashing light..it was the heart beat! at 150 beats per minute, we were told it was very strong. And everything else looked great! Chris and I held our hands tightly. He was overwhelmed with emotions, while I was facinated and curious about every image we saw. The nurse told us the embryo was about 1 cm long. And after examining the photo, it appeared that our baby was either a luge champion or a little gummy bear.

Our worries subsided and scheduled another appointment in 2 weeks where we will be able to hear the heart beat. : ) how exciting!

The last few weeks has been hard. The constant nausea and fatigue wears me out, but Chris is taking care of me making sure I take my vitamins and getting enough food and liquid. I've been sleeping pretty well and taking many naps on the weekend. My body is changing too, so today we took our first photo of my belly.

We also bought 2 more books on pregnancy, probably all the same information, but good to cross reference. So far I'm right on track with my morning sickness...yeh.

I am looking more at other people's baby now, and also a little freaked out about having a really big belly. I'm already feeling like I'm having a hard time getting off the couch, can't even imagine having another 25 lb. to walk around with.

We'll have to wait and see.

Everything looks good

November 20th- Week 6

So today we got the call from the doctor that the 2nd blood test result came back good. All the levels are where they are supposed to be so we are right on track. What a relief! We are literally taking "baby" steps. The next hurdle is the ultrasound. That will be in one week. Hopefully if all goes well we'll see something this time or even hear a heart beat.

I've been feeling a little under the weather, and also starting to get a bit of morning sickness. For someone who loves to eat, this new feeling of being hungry but don't want to eat anything hasn't been fun. I do still love soup and it's the easiest and quickest way to get some food in my system. Yesterday I wanted tomatoes, and also craving some type of beef stew.

Other than that, I've just been really tired. No real energy to do much of anything. I guess I should take advantage of this time and enjoy resting and relaxing.

Here we go again!

It's November 18th, I'm writing this entry today, but will not post it until a later date. That's because once again, Chris and I are expecting. We actually found out about 2 weeks ago. Right away we made a doctor's appointment for a blood test. The doctor said all the hormone levels are where they should be...and that I am "barely" pregnant. She adviced we do another blood test in 7-10 days, then schedule an ultrasound the week after that. So tomorrow will be our second blood test. And since this time I'm having even less pregnancy symtoms than the last time...I'm feeling more worried and nervous.

I told Chris, until we go past the 10 week mark, I am not going to start to get excited about it. It's not easy to feel "cautiously" happy. I'm also trying to fight off a cold and physically feeling drained and mentally unfocused. There are just so many unknows and so much out of our control. I hope after tomorrow's blood test we'll have some answers that'll ease our mind.

Busy as usual

I realize that I've been starting many of my entries by saying "it's been a while since my last entry..." It's true, it has been a while and as usual I've been very productive.

I've been updating my RubyLove blog more lately so I can start to connect with my online customers. I've found that by taking the time to share my thoughts, create special promotions, emailing existing customers. I have made quite a few connections not only on a business level, but also from a personal level. I now can call some of these girls (mostly in their mid teens) my little sisters. I not only feel excited that I've found my target consumers, but I've also been inspired by these young girls who have so much to offer. I also have gained a new sense of responsibility to setting a good example for them.

Work has been more busy than usual also. Our department has taken on more work, and leaving later than the normal hour is common, but it helps to not have to drive home in traffic. I am now in charge of working on special pieces for the Burbank Airport, taking the poster art and reconfigure them into different formats to fit the space available. I've done that for "Enchanted" and "National Treasure 2" already and starting to get the hang of working with one piece of art. I think years of playing Tetris was very helpful to visual make things fit.

Last month, Chris and I celebrated our 5-year anniversary by taking a few days off. We've been trying to find a place to go...Ireland? Hawaii? Arizona? It was nice to look at the website for all of those places, but it was difficult to commit to any one of them. Traveling that involves flying just takes up so much time. And being as busy as we are, the quicker we can get to our destination the better. So we decided on Palm Springs, but chose a hotel that was more fun and interesting to stay at for our weekend getaway.

We stayed at the Parker, a pretty design-y looking place that feels very european and retro chic. They have a spa and several pools, a fancy restaurant and a more casual one, and the grounds are covered with mediterrean style landscaping. For the 4 days we were there, we took advantage of the surroundings, and did a quick photoshoot for RubyLove- Chris was the photographer, I was the model. The rest of the time we spent at the spa getting massages, and reading by the pool. I brought along "Eat, Pray, Love" and Chris read "The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band" Both are memoirs and very good read.





Our last day there started when we got woken up at 7am from the fire alarm. We grabbed a few things and rushed out the door. The Santa Ana wind was blowing very hard those few days and there were fires everywhere in California. Luckily it was a false alarm.

We ended the trip by stopping at the outlet on our way home and stocked up on a new winter wardrobe. And still had time after we got home to catch up on all the shows we missed and recorded while we were away.

Since we've been back, I've had a huge wholesale order for RubyLove. Chris has found a new office space in Culver City. And we've been getting up early and walking up to Sunset Blvd. most mornings and weekends to stay in shape. We're both looking forward to the holidays and getting together with friends and family...and hopefully a little more relaxation.

Dream a little dream

So since the miscarriage I've been doing pretty well looking at the brighter side of things. At times I still really miss the happiness I felt talking to my belly. Other times I looked forward to having those feelings back again. I don't shy away from the subject. It's the same reason why I posted in my blog. It happened, it was unfortunate and sad, but we pick up the pieces and remember how good it was.

The other night I had a dream. I had been thinking and wishing that if there are spirits, I hope our little angel has moved on to a happy place. Chris and I had been talking about planting something in the yard as a memorial, but haven't looked into what type of plant to get. Then I had a dream...

I dreamed that I was upstairs with these 2 women who told me my baby is sick. They said it was something with the arteries and I need to go downstairs. When I went down, I saw a very small crying baby. But when I picked her up, she started to smile. She had the perfectly round face, and she pointed to a woman next to me. Then she said in Spanish! "She's been taking care of me" And then later they said the baby's name is Laurel Leaf.

I woke up that morning with those clear images in my mind. I felt happy and relieved. I didn't know if it was my subconscious mind soothing my worries, or that it was a message. Whatever it was it made me feel really good. And the fact that the name was a plant was especially odd. So I looked it up, and the Laural tree has little tiny yellow flowers. I think we now know what plant to buy.

The day finally came...

First of all, I debated for a while whether or not to keep those photos or even post them. It's not common for anyone to speak freely about a loss such as the one we experienced. And I decided that this is apart of our lives, and as sad as it was at the time, it will not be remembered as a sad experience.

On August 8th, 2:15 pm. Our first doctor's appointment, and what was supposed to be our first ultrasound to hear the heart beat of the baby we've already fell in love with at 9 weeks. We found out the disappointing news through the ultrasound, that there was no fetus growing inside me. My body just had a delay in catching up to it and was still functioning as if everything was fine. It was confusing at first because we didn't know this can happen, but the doctor assured us that it was very common especially for first time pregnancy. And it's something that the body does when it knows the cells would not grow into a healthy baby, there wasn't anything we could have done to prevent it. It is unfortunately, but it just happens. If we had not seen the doctor at that time, I would have a miscarriage naturally within 2 weeks.

It doesn't make it any easier to accept what happened, but that was all we can do. And the moment we looked forward to for 9 weeks turned into grieving for our loss. It was a moment that brought Chris and I closer than ever, we had to be there for one another for the life we created and lost. And we allowed ourselves the time to feel those emotions and adjust to living our life the way we did 9 weeks prior.

However, like I said, this experience will not be remembered as a sad one. I've always been a very positive thinker in even the worse situations. I think this may top that list. Being the workaholic busy bee that I am, having a baby was a very scary thought. It wasn't about the pregnancy or raising the baby, but losing my identity as a career woman, a business owner, a wife and daughter. My time is already so packed with things to do for ourselves, I didn't know how to fit in a new life or what part of my existing life to give up.

The pregnancy was a surprise for us, we didn't think it'd happen so fast, but when it did everything changed. It was amazing how effortless your priority shifts on their own. I was taking even better care of myself. Chris was taking great care of me. And all those fears and anxiety I had didn't seem as big of a deal anymore. I felt very comfortable being pregnant, and I was happy all the time. I never took that many naps (especially in the movie theater, I slept through most of Bourne Ultimatum) I have never been as absent minded and I found it funny to be going through all those changes. And up until telling our family, Chris and I shared our little secret, a new challenge for us to face together, a new goal to become good parents.

When we found out it didn't work out for us this time, we looked on the bright side that the fact that we were able to conceive and my body for the most part reacted well was a great thing. We found a wonderful doctor who we like and trust. And with each friend we talked to who has given us so much love and support, we learned how common it really is for this to happen. And all of them later became proud parents of beautiful children.

This experience has given us a new outlook on life. And the life that was once so close to our hearts will always be remembered as the one who gave us the chance to learn so much about ourselves, our inner strength, our ability to heal, our courage to move on from heart ache. And make our hopes and dreams more clear.

Chris and I plan to plant something in the yard in memory of our loss. I hope the little angel knows we'll always think of him/her with fond memories. And to you, my dearest friends and family, Chris and I thanks you all from the bottom of our hearts for being there for us through it all.

The Big Announcement

On August 2nd, Chris and I invited the the rest of our family to Gourmet 88 in Burbank to announce the good news. It's always difficult to coordinate a get together with our family, but this time with my parents in the middle of moving out of the house they lived in for 15 years, trying to pull them away from that for a dinner was not an easy task. Not only that, when I went to pick up my parents from the house, my dad actually asked if my tummy was getting bigger (which in chinese it's the same thing as getting pregnant)! I denied it of course, not wanting to ruin the surprise. And after sitting anxiously in traffic, we finally all made it to the restaurant.

As we did with Chris's mom, we waited till after we ordered our food to break the news. Then there was cheers, tears, and hugs for about ten minute. And lots of happiness all around the table for the rest of the evening.

At the time we were 8 weeks pregnant, with our first doctor's appointment scheduled for the following week. I was feeling great, eating healthy and sleeping well. No one can guess what we'd find out at the doctor's visit. But it doesn't take away from the joy we felt that day at dinner.

Weekend in San Diego

On Friday, July 20th, Chris and I drove down to San Diego to see his mom for her birthday and to share the news about the baby. We gave ourselves enough to leisurely make our way down, and had time to stop for some food along the way. Turns out when when you get pregnant, eating and sleeping is about all you can think about. We had the best pizza at a Roundtables Pizza we found just off the freeway. I know it wasn't the healthiest food, but it sure hit the spot.

We had done enough traveling in the last few years that we earned enough points to use it for a free room at the Marriot. We had a lovely room high above to see the city...unfortunately we didn't take in consideration it was also very close to the train tracks. We found that out at 2 am.

We met up with Chris's mom for dinner at Ruth Chris's steak house where we spent her last birthday. Our plan was to wait until after we order the food. And once she found out, she was so excited she had to tell the first person she saw, our waitress Beth. Which paid off later when Beth came back with a free desert!





The next day we met at the mall for lunch with mom's friend Pat. We went to a Cuban restaurant and as I found out, outdoor umbrella lighting gives my skin a nice warm glow. I posed happily after I enjoyed my Cuban sandwich.






Mom got many new gifts from Pat for her new apartment that she was moving into, mostly purple stuff. (It's her favorite color) And I got a stack of books from mom about pregnancy and giving birth. And not to leave Chris out, he got to see his mom and his wife both very very happy!

More photos from Rushmore

Rushmore...the way everyone else sees it:


The must have photos:






We were very tired on this trip...

Up, up, and away!

On July 10th, I got to go on my first helicopter ride. And what better way to experience it than at sunrise with the pilot who worked on Transformers (the movie, not the toys) to be the very few in the world to see Mount Rushmore from the air? It was worth waking up at 3 am with only a few hours worth of sleep for sure. I was lucky enough to go with my work for the photoshoot for National Treasure 2: The Book of Secrets, where the story takes place at Rushmore. We had to get a special government permit to be that close to the monument. We were as close as 75 feet away from George Washington's nose!



Because it was so close to Independence Day and also fire season, all the helicopters in the area were not available for rent. So our pilot Peter, and his father Peter Senior, flew their own helicopter from Santa Monica, California all the way to South Dakota. (Doesn't Jr. look like George W?)




It was also my first time in South Dakota (may be the last time...) it was very nice and quiet, but not much else. The most excitement we got was from the big storm passing through. We were walking around after dinner when it just started to hail! Luckily it wasn't cold, just very wet and windy.




We had our most of our meals at a brewery that used to be a firehouse. And since I was pregnant at the time, I was the designated driver...on a trip that doesn't involve me doing any driving. Although I didn't experience any morning sickness during the pregnancy, I did get motion sickness from the helicopter ride. That was the not so fun part. Other than that, I had an amazing once in a life time experience.

It's been a while...again

Hello again, and sorry that I have not updated my blog in a long while. Most of you already know why by now, but I am going to to stick with my system here and try to give a short update in chronological order. However for those who don't know, at the time the last entry was posted, Chris and I had just found out we were having a baby...so please make a note that the photo of my holding a martini glass...that did NOT have any alcohol in it! And see, I still had a great time. Unfortunately as you read on, you'll find out the pregnancy ended unexpectedly. In a later entry, I will talk about it more. I'll just we're feeling much better now. So read on to what I've been up to...

Happy Birthday...House!

No...not the doctor on Fox's tv show "House"...an actual house! My father-in-law threw a party to celebrate the 50th birthday of their house in Pasadena. And it had...of course, a 50's theme. I did my best putting together a 50's style outfit, but some of the guests really got into the fun. We had a great time chatting with people we haven't seen in a long time...including one couple who remembers Chris when he was still in diapers!



Uncle kevin played bartender and made delicious martinis!



How about a watermelon martini?


Shrimp cocktail! yummy!



What a great way to spend a saturday evening, with friends and family, great food, and a beautiful sunset.

Wedding Day....Take 2!

So our great friends Glenn and Nilda recently got married in Temecula. The wedding was beautiful and we all had a great time being a part of their special day. Unfortunately, when they got their pictures back, the photos didn't quite reflect that beautiful day. So they asked Chris and I to help them recreate some of those memories in our front yard. Chris was the photographer, and I was the art director. It was a really hot day, but we managed to shoot a variety of set ups so some looked like portraits and some were more candid.

Here's me, with my new hair cut. I think Chris just caught me in the middle of about to say something...



The No Left Turn Sign on the side walk gives it away that it's not a real wedding location.





The photoshoot was a success and we had a great time. Glenn and Nilda changed out of their clothes, and we enjoyed a nice relaxing dinner in the back patio before heading out to the ArcLight to see Transformers!! It was a really fun movie and we had the greatest seats.

What a productive and fun afternoon we had. : )

Catching up!

It's been almost a month since my last blog entry. Everything is good, busy as usual. I've made many updates to the RubyLove website. And getting used to the responsibilities of running a business after my day job. So far it's been a lot of fun and business is starting to pick up. There are a few exciting things to report in the upcoming blog entries. I've been taking more pictures too so I can share them with you here. Enjoy!

Paint a Happy Face!

Since the wonderful experience I had in Tijuana, I've been wanting to do more volunteer work. It's a little bit of my time that not only forces me to break away from my daily routine, it just feels great to do something nice for someone else.


This morning I was at Paramount Studios where the Childrens Hospital hosted an event called Celebrate Life. The event was to gives patients and their families an opportunity to meet representatives from community agencies, and interact with their medical caregivers in a safe, non-hospital environment. I volunteered with a group called CoachArt, an organization that offers free art lessons to help enhance confidence in children with chronic and life threatening illnesses.



The activity today was to invite the children to paint terra cotta pots with periwinkle plants them. The significance of the periwinkle "Vinca" flower is that its extract is used in cancer fighting drugs. Our job was to plant the flowers, set up the tables, and help the kids paint.



One of the cutest moments was when I was talking to a little girl named Emma and she turned to her mom and said "How does everybody know my name?" I think I scared her a little, she didn't realize she was wearing a name tag.


It's really amazing how taking a little bit of time to do something like this feels like a reset button. I feel revived and I'm reminded how lucky I am to have good health.